I have a hot little number for you today

I think it has been a while since I have done a public service post and I feel badly about that. I truly do. So, to rectify that situation, I'm bringing you this today.

I can hear you women screaming now. "Debbie, what is the meaning of this? It's early Monday, I've had a rough weekend with the kids, I haven't showered in days, and you are showing me this. How's a girl supposed to feel good about those Krispy Kremes she has hidden in the cabinet while looking at this?"

(And you few men readers are saying, "Now this is more like it. I'm sick of that PMS and kid stuff these women post about anyway.")

But, I must do this. All in the name of education.

This year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover gal is Bar Refaeli. I'd never heard of her either but I can only assume she is some important physicist or has developed a cure for cancer. She looks that type to me. Actually, she looks very similar to every other woman I have seen grace the cover of that literary giant. What has grabbed my attention are some quotes I ran across from an editor of SI, Terry McDonald.

Mr. McDonald (can I call you Mac?) has ascertained that this modeling job, more than top fashion magazine jobs, can change a model's career. He went on to say that it "puts a model's face in front of millions of eyeballs". OK. Everyone that noticed that the cover girl had a face raise their hand. Just as I figured - not a hand up in the crowd. Mac says that this cover appeals to fashionistas. Hello? Is there some sort of fashion here? I must really be out of the loop because I'm just seeing a few threads that the poor dear is going to pop out of at any moment. That is not fashion. This is fashion.

Our hero in this story, Mac, goes on to say this: "The cover has to reflect the athleticism and sexiness of the culture. This photo is modern, her hair and swimsuit look natural. You see her freckles. Her body is amazing and she looks intelligent."

OK. Let me interject here to explain that the terrible screeching sound you just heard was caused by your brain cells trying to wrap themselves around that quote. I will help you.

Athleticism and sexiness. I'm going to agree with Mac on those - mostly because I haven't ever been intimately acquainted with either of those attributes.

He continues by saying the photo looks modern (I agree), her hair looks natural (looks manipulated to look natural but I won't argue), and her swimsuit looks natural. Oh Mac. Where do you swim? Her swimsuit is barely there. A toddler in the kiddie pool could kick up enough current to knock that string right off of our Miss Bar. This photo may be sexy - but natural is not a word I would have ever chosen to describe it.

Mac sees Miss Bar's freckles. Yeah, right. I guess that is what school boys are calling them these days. And then he says she looks intelligent.

That's the one - the clincher for me. Of course she looks sexy. Maybe even athletic. But intelligent? What are you trying to sell, Mac? Bless her heart. She doesn't look intelligent. She is pulling her swimsuit bottom down - rarely do you see that behavior at a Mensa meeting.

He also took pains to point out that the model has to have a curvy, healthy figure and said a "skinny waif won't work here." Thank goodness he explained that to me. I could see her curves but I had no idea that those made her not skinny. I am learning so much and hope you are too.

After choosing this particular shot for the cover, he explained he liked it best and could appreciate the water and sky. Also, he stated he "liked that the top of the suit was on". You gotta love a man with high moral standards.

Don't get me wrong - I actually have nothing against the SI Swimsuit Issue. But, let it stand for what it is. No one ever fell for that "I read it for the articles" argument and no one thinks this hot babe is the role model for round, freckled, intelligent women. And there's the difference. If I was the editor of this magazine and someone asked me to describe the shot I had chosen for the cover, I'd tell it like it is.

"We were thrilled we could get a knockout like Bar to pose for our cover. She has an amazing body and was willing to show it off in a tiny bikini. " The end. That about covers it.

Another interesting tidbit - SI pays an average of $2000 per swimsuit photo shoot in overweight baggage fees.

Must be for the bikini wax supplies.