This bird was attempting to fly but couldn't. It looked like it had a damaged wing. It would do this little hop thing, move a few feet away from my cat, then stop. My cat would follow the bird, almost matching her speed and progress exactly, although I knew my cat could have caught that bird at any minute.
Hop went the bird and creep went the cat. This continued until the pair had reached the edge of my rather large front yard. The bird then managed to make it across our street and into the horse farm across the road. My cat followed, much to my dismay as we have tried to train her not to go near the road. But that frail bird was too tempting to her. Just when I thought she was finally going to pounce on the injured bird and put her out of her misery, the bird gracefully flew into the air and back to her nest of babies in the tree under which this whole scenario began.
I was overwhelmed at that mother bird. She was quite the actress. She had my cat and me convinced that she was very injured. She lulled that cat into following her far away from both her nest and my cat's home. She risked real injury or death to save those babies. No one taught her that. Her maternal instinct just kicked in.We human mothers (usually) have that same instinct. What wouldn't we do to protect our babies? It is our job to keep them from harm. It is the phase that comes next that separates us from our feathered female mothers.
Her young flies away from the nest and never returns. Ever. She's done with that brood and starts again the next spring. We, on the other hand, never finish with ours. We pray that day never comes that one of our flies away never to be seen again.
And that is the tricky part, I am learning. How do we go from protecting them, even at risk of our lives, to letting go? What if they are busy cutting up with their friends and don't see that danger sneaking up behind them?
And why don't colleges let parents move in while their kids are there? Some institutions are so unreasonable.I still have that need to fly around pretending to have a hurt wing.
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115 comments:
I sincerely adore you...this is beautiful and heartfelt...I am an empty nester who still misses her full nest!
Perhaps if I fake an injured wing...my babies might come back...nope, I think probably a cat!
I really do love this post!
aww, momma. i don't look forward to the days of letting go. i can't even let them go in the other room without worrying.
That was really great. What a cool bird! I hope here babies appreciate her.
I hope you gave your cat a good telling off.
This kind of letting go that you speak of is the hardest to do. I, like you, enjoyed having a full nest and as one by one, they left the nest, it was extremely hard but it's something I knew I had to do. I spent at least 18 years with each of them, building up their wings to be strong, teaching them to not need me and teaching them to fly high. And they did.
It's been a painful, yet amazing journey for them and me. I didn't know when I was teaching them, that some of them would fly so far away. I didn't know that when I was teaching them to dream, work hard, believe in themselves and to go after those dreams, that it would take them so far away from me. As hard as it is, I wouldn't change a thing. Yes, I wanted to hang on to them and keep them here close. But, I knew that would be going against everything I taught them. Seeing them happy and living their own journey is rewarding. What is so wonderful is that even though we are far apart, we are still very close.
The first time is the hardest because it's all new territory. One step at time, you will do it!
When ever you need a shoulder to cry on, I am here. Hugs, Lori
PS Great post!
This was very moving. Not all parents are like that; your kids are lucky.
I love that first photo!!
Wonderful post! It truly touched my heart. My little ones are far from leaving the nest but even the thought of leaving for kindergarten is frightening to me. Luckily, I still have several years until that too.
My son's only 8 and I still freak out thinking it's only a short 10 years until he's out of the nest!
I guess you just have to get some solace from the fact that you gave them their own wings to fly and know how to avoid danger as best they can. But letting go is always going to be a challenge, lovely Momma Deb. I hope you are good and kind to yourself as you go through the process...
Happy Friday !
I had no idea birds do that... but I guess 'we' (they) adapt to their environment and do whatever it takes to keep our 'nest' safe. I don't ever let them leave the 'nest' and often close drapes and blinds when people walk by so that they cannot see and will never know waht another human being looks like and will therefore never be hurt by anyone ever.
Or not.
Blessings!
Wow. What a powerful picture (in nature) of a mother's instinct and will to protect.
And I totally get why you'd want to move into the dorm. Except for the communal bathrooms. That would be a drawback. :-)
Hang in there, Mama Bird!!
Great post Debbie. Animals are amazing! But just think if colleges allowed parents to board, how many spoiled parties there'd be! :O)
And why don't colleges let parents move in while their kids are there?
You so funny!
And that bird's instincts are amazing!
Ah, sounds like a Killdeer...lovely post...how do we protect our children when they think they know more than we do? It's a hard job, but most of us manage, don't we? And we don't even have to lock them in their rooms!
Great post!
Sandi
Letting go ain't easy, believe me! Once you adjust, you'll find that you like it, though.
Old age and sleep deprivation are forcing me to let go...now, if I could only get them to fly! :)
What a great post!! I love a good animal story! My little one is only 10 months and I dont even want to begin thinking about her as a teenager and going out on her own....ahhhhhhhhhhh
This was a beautiful post, from beginning to end...
Wonderfully written post...I am not to this stage yet...but I am sure I will want to hide in the dorm room or trunk of her car! I mean come on...she needs me...right?!
What a sweet post. So true. And we never really give up that need to hop around, protecting our young. Although mine mostly takes place in my prayers.
Those days are in my future, but not far enough. What a beautiful post.
I've heard that birds will do that but I've never seen it in action. Nature. Can't beat it. I miss the days terribly when Imy children lived at home. Ingrates! They had the nerve to grow into decent human adult beings and prepare lives for themselves complete with good spouses and children which turn into grandchildren who are the delight of my life. Ya' just can't win, can ya'. It doesn't get any easier...the problems just change. But those grandkids make up for anything. So, in a way, it gets better.
It's amazing how any species of Moms know instinctively how to protect their babies?
I am feeling some of these feelings as my oldest son prepares for middle school. I wish I could prepare him for those big 8th graders! haha probably sounds silly to you and will to me when he's heading off to college!
I saw Dennis Leary on David Letterman a while back. He was talking about the day he dropped off his oldest son at Boston College. The son wanted dropped at the curb of the dorm. Dennis said he was fighting back tears (Dennis, not the son) and he finally said, "If you need me I'll be over there. I rented an apartment across the street from your dorm." Maybe you could try that!
that bird is a genius!! Instinctual or not...my husband and I always joke that we will be getting a condo across the street from my son's college when he heads off to college in 5 years....but maybe we're only half joking :D or maybe I'm not joking at all!
Are you one of those ladies that's going to go a wee bit crazy when you hint empty nestdom? Methinks. . .yes.
I love this post and am so past the kicking the little birdies out of the nest. That is the hardest thing to do. I've always said that the minute you have that little bundle of joy you are raising them to fly and be on their own in the world.
What a great post! One of ours (who is 11) says he is living at home and going to be an entrpreneur and go to a 2-year college. Fine with me.
Yes, that's how mothers feel. But, we must evolve to the next stage too. Nothing stays the same for too long.
As the mom of one who is leaving the nest shortly, I completely understand that momma bird... a friend sent me this video this morning that is another great example of animals showing us humans how it's done and hope my two kids learn from their example!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jByfWOLmjo
I still have a ways to go with my kids but it weighs on my mind and heart. I don't know how my parents let go but they did and I think I turned out fine. Hugs.
I hope your kid doesn't blow his fingers off with fireworks, too. That's what this post was about, right?
Oh - I hear you! My kids are small but I just cannot ever imagine letting them go.. yet, I know I must!
I don't see why you can't just rent a dorm room. Aren't colleges hurting for money? I love the perspective that you give me--I'll enjoy these young years!
O man! This is hitting a bit too close to home! I love the bird saga, wow! Empty nest is on my mind a lot lately as my 22yr old son, last one here, is talking about a house with a buddy. Ready or not!
What a great post! I still have some little ones in my nest and I would do anything for them!
That is one impressive mother bird and one seriously great post! How beautiful.
I think colleges should provide mothers with "nanny cams" so you can keep an eye on your kids without being in their face :-)
Have a terrific July 4th! xo
completely and totally unreasonable! That's why mine will be chained in the (as yet unbuilt) basement when they reach a certain age...: )
That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard! I think you're handling the whole college thing wonderfully....much better than I would be
Fine post.
what a great story and awesome post. Thanks for sharing.
What a wonderful post! I loved that story (and the pictures) of the bird and your cat. We've seen this happen in our yard as well. That's the mothering instinct we all have! And your kids are so lucky to have a strong mother on their side (although I'm not sure how they'd feel if you moved to college with them...). :) Silke
Aren't moms great......no matter what species? :-)
Haver a beautiful weekend
wow that really is an amazing story and so true of us moms. Talk about going at all lengths.
love the post and the pictures :)
Absolutely beautiful post!!! It's astonishing what we will do as mamas to protect our wee ones:) What a great story! Thank you for sharing it!
I love this story. You wouldn't think a bird would be that smart to do that.
I thought I would love it when my kids moved out, I would have the house to myself and it would stay clean. Wrong....I miss them so much.
You teach them everything they need to know, and hope they remember it all when they move out. They'll make mistakes and hopefully learn from them.
What a great post! You had me cringing that kitty was gonna get the bird. Isn't Mother Nature so incredible?
So true! Heck, they won't even let you follow them to middle school, the blighters.
That line about praying that one of ours never flies away never to be seen again, it brought tears to my eyes. But I'm so glad to know I *will* see my little girl again. And that reunion will be so sweet...
This was beauuuuuutiful. The way you described the bird, her act, and her nest. So many wonderful symbols. The way you brought it home to yourself and motherhood in general.
You give an English teacher the desire to take your post to my class and show the kids how powerful a narrative can be, with so many layers below the surface.
So, so true. I'm about to start panicing as we draw near to our move date. I cant believe we are leaving Bones behind and going 18 hours away. Excuse me while I go throw up.
perfect post! Hope you have a Happy 4th of July weekend! ♥ HUGS ♥
Awww... I am still at the stage when my nest feels much, much too full, so thanks for the reminder that these days are indeed limited :)
that was such a sweet and sensitive post...i'm all emotional now!
Beautiful post. I KNOW you are doing a great job w/ the kids and will give them what they need to go out in the world, or fly the nest, rather.
I would keep hopping/hovering just in case. Moving out/away doesn't mean you can't still protect them. Or that they won't still want you to.
What a smart bird! It is amazing what animals will do to protect their young! We have so many parents that should take lessons!
An excellent post that will make a lot of mommas nod their heads... sorta like those little bobbing toys that people put in the back windows of their cars.
oh those were beautiful pictures and such a good story!
I posted recently about letting my son sleep at a friend's without an adult at home - a friend recommended a book to me which I've ordered - about dealing with the senior year of high school and beyond.
I'm going to keep coming here for advice and inspiration!
http://SuburbanKvetch.com
this is a great post and someday I will so be able to relate but right now, I would love to have a little 'empty nest' time. ;)
I don't ever want to go back to that time when I was having to let go one by one. So painful and confusing.
Then there's the constant question of, how did I do as a parent? Did I communicate enough, share enough, spend enough quality time with him or her to let him fly out there? Will he/she be strong enough?
I feel for you. I understand. Your humor and perspective will get you through.
With 4, 6, and 8 year old chickadees I can only dream of an empty nest (and the quiet, oh the quiet), but I have a feeling that I'll be writing a similar post ten years from now and then twelve years from now. And then again thirteen years from now.
Wait . . . I gotta go get a tissue . . .
I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to let go completely.
Lovely post. Your heart just sang in this piece. We must have been on the same track today. I spent the better part of the day watching a mother bird shooing her two babies out of the nest. Pushing them down the rail of the roof cover, while continuing to bring them food. I can't wait for morning to see if they are still there or if I'll get to watch the flying lessons.
Don't worry, Mom. I bet you've given your kids excellent flying lessons.
I loved your post. The story of the cat and bird was really interesting - as always, nature knows best.
This is just a gorgeous post! I love it. And what a clever bird? Sometimes I think I'm just the injured bird and not the clever one. Hopefully, my dudes won't be ditchin' the nest for the cat anytime soon. (Although, if one gauges how much they love their cat, I'm doomed.)
I can't imagine what I'll do when I have to let go. My kids are only 2 and 4. I dread even letting Caitlin take the bus to Kindergarten.
Sniffle.
I love this post. Really really love it. The symbols in nature speak to me too.
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Protecting them at the risk of your own life is the easy part. Letting go is the killer!
Debbie, I have an award waiting for you at my blog. I'd be honored if you'd accept it. Feel free to pass it on or just enjoy having received it! You are an inspiration to me!! Hugs, Silke
I thought this post was going to be a little light hearted one about your kitty chasing a bird! Wow. Amazing! The animal kingdom is truly amazing.
As for the college thing. Agreed! Quite unreasonable..I'm sure when the time comes I would in no way be cramping my beautiful 18 year old daughters style if I tagged along and folded her underwear and helped with her homework :) (She is only 10 now..I think I will go tell her of my plan!)
I love this post. Great pics, too.
Gave you a little award on my blog this morning. Enjoy.
amazing story, thanks again, you always make me smile! don't want those "letting go" days come too soon!
Hi! I've found you via Silke's blog. Enjoyed this post and relate!! Have seen birds doing the same in my garden and felt just as protective when my girls flew the nest. Yes, it's hard for parents to let go - but wait... often they admit to still needing you! I look forward visiting your blog in the future!
You are highlighting the topic/book that I would love to have written.
I'm with you. I'm an empty nester, with a caveat in that one of my four kids and I live together. But I still worry about them and can't wait for them to come around. I don'tknow if I'll ever get used to them being completely on their own. I can't stop being a mom.
And that was an awesome bird trick! Never heard of that.
Your cat "standing up" in wait for the bird is a funny picture.
Leave it to nature to illustrate life's beauty and complexities. May your nest always be full, Debbie.
Happy fourth holiday!!
Hi there! I found your blog while visiting Sonya Ann's, so I came over to take a look. Your post is so awesome! I loved the pics and the Mama bird with her baby bird story. You are a wonderful writer, and really kept me, as the reader, very entertained. I'll definitely be back again soon! :)
Mothers are amazing aren't they?
What a smart mama bird.
Debbie, dear heart. I know that you are beginning to feel the sting of the empty nest and I know that it is very, very real. Having gone through it four years ago, and then again each time one of my girls gets ready to test their own wings, my heart just cringes a little bit more.
What a beautiful post. The fact that animals are so instinctually driven to protect their young makes me admire and love them even more.
When I first began experiencing those empty nest pangs, I didn't know anybody who was ahead of me. I had to wing it alone and it was very difficult. Like you, I read books to try to come to terms with what I was experiencing. If you ever need some support from someone who has(and still is) gone through the empty nest feeling, please feel free to email me anytime! I can offer you an ear from someone who knows that what you are feeling is very real.
I love the title of that book!
Hugs,
Debbie
Ah hun, how WELL I understand your feelings!!!! It isn't easy, that's for sure.
I am thoroughly surprising myself by actually feeling a little verklempt at my soon-to-be emtpier nest. I really have always thought that I'd be more relaxed, more comfortable with my adult children than I had been with their teen-aged selves. But in a few weeks I'll have two out of the nest, and two in. And I'm kind of feeling, well, like faking a broken wing or something!
Hey, big, bad world! Leave my babies alone!!
(And with a followers' roll that looks like a state census, I doubt that you noticed that somehow I had left off following you. But it's not true. My blog had a stroke a few weeks ago, and when it was released from ICU, half the blogs I followed were no longer on my list. So, it's nice to see you again, darling Debbie. You're always good for a laugh and something great to think about.)
Love this post. What a great bird. What when my little one goes away to college I can't go? Happy Fourth of July.
1) Brilliant bird.
2) BBJ is never going away to college. I can't even part with her for pre-school!!!
So sorry, BBJ.
Is there a homeschool program for Bio-Chemistry?
Mine like to fly back to the nest when they need food or cash or better yet a babysitter for their little birds:) Happy 4th of July and thanks for visiting my blog.
Joyce
Beautiful story. Mr. Tinkles would have ate the bird. He didn't mess around playing with the birds or chipmunks. All were very yummy.
haha...they don't let you move in because your younguns have to leave the nest :-)
Very timely post for me and my husband right now. Issues with son....thanks-beautiful photos.
What a beautiful post . . . I told a young mother last night how we never stop worrying about our children . . . I told her I sometimes wondered if I'd be this old 80something year old momma worrying over her 60something year old son! *laugh* -
Oh, my mother is going through the same thing with my youngest brother. He has Downs Syndrome and he is staying with my husband and I for a month (he's 19), and it's her first time without him. Even though it's not forever, it's a taste of what it will be like when he is indpendent enough to go out on his own some day.
How cute are those birdlets?!!!
It warmed my heart that you stayed with the event from start to finish, it must have taken time to watch the cat and bird playacting. It takes a keen sense of self to relate the activities of nature to our own lives. You realized the mama bird brought out feelings of your own nurturing and protectiveness and then you shared that with us here in your blog. This is the kind of sharing I really like to find in blogs.
What a great post! It's amazing what lengths mothers (no matter what species) will go to just to protect their children!
I don't even want to think of my son leaving the house, but I still have years and years and years to prepare for that.
I know I am going to struggle with letting go. I know it deep in my bones. My daughter will be ok with that. My son will get angry. But? How can I not? Sigh. It's a fine line, this parenting.
Following your blog!
Dropping by from sits. Have a great Sunday.
Ms Cupcake
Zen Cupcake
I love this! I have a similar post about a mother dove and babies we recently had in our backyard. She used to pretend she was injured too... and instead of a cat, our dogs were chasing her!
I'm thinking birds aren't as emotional or attached to their babies as we are. I can't imagine having to let go that soon! I think 18 years will be too soon for me... My son is only 20 months, but I tell him, "you can stay here till you're 35"... I'll probably regret that statement once he's a teenager! But, as of right now, I'm thinking I will always worry about him, and will always want him close by. Thanx for this post! :) And thanx for stopping by my blog! Oh, and by the way, my trifle serves about 10 or 12... but I could probably eat it all in one sitting! ;)
This was a great analogy, I love how sometimes something can unexpectedly make you think of things like this.
What a beautiful story.
What an amazing story!
And here, the momma bird on my front porch just darted at my head everytime I opened the door.
She must've been the violent type. :D
What a wonderful story, and incredible about the mother bird who lured the kitty away from her brood! So touching.
That was a very interesting story! She was a smart momma! My son is away at camp now for a month (the camp is only 15 minutes away..chicken!) and I can't imagine sending him away forever....:(
I cry everytime I think about my daughter being at that age of going off to college. She is not even 5 so I can't really even imagine, but I am hoping by the time she is at that age, they will totally have parent rooms in the dorms. =)
It is a sacred journey...and we can do nothing but offer the foundation and hold the lantern.
Amazing telling.
xxoosink
I was getting upset just today because my 7 year old said she might want to go to church camp when she's old enough. That's like 3 years away. How can I let my baby go away for a week? Will they let me come too?
How on earth are we supposed to let them go off on their own at 18 and ever get any sleep after that?
I know. I know. I had no idea what I was doing to my poor mother when I moved into that dorm!
I wear a nest around my neck with four pearl eggs...so I don't blame you for fakin' that hurt wing.
I still remember the day Anne left for college, and I knew that, even though she'd be home for the summers for the next 3 years, she had flown the nest.
Yeah, that one rates high on the Suck-o-Meter.
That faking hurt thing is so cool and amazing. Shane sees it a lot on the golf course with very large birds. (for some reason, larger is funnier to me) Anyhow, I'm more impressed that you TAUGHT YOUR CAT NOT TO CROSS THE STREET? omg, is that even possible? You need an award for that one!
Great pics on here! very very wonderful pics!
And yes...I have a college bound daughter this year...but I'm ready to let go...well, not entirely...but I'm ready for her to spread her wings. (well, that's THIS week anyhow, maybe when she's actually GONE I'll feel different)
:)
Love the cat in the tree photo!
Oh lady. This just got me so choked up. You are so lovely. Your mothering heart is just the most beautiful thing.
LOVE THIS POST.
I love Love LOVE this! I can't imagine the never return. Nope. What a smart bird, and a thoughtful God we have.
Blessings,
Carolynn
Like parents, not all birds are like that. The ones at our house seem to kick out the kids before they can fly. And my cat DOES pounce. It's sort of awful, really. So much more with humans.
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