Yes, I took my son to college.And I don't really care how many millions of mothers have done this same thing before me. On that day, it was my son. And me. And I have to say I didn't enjoy it.
Overall, it went well. Except for the fact that we arrived to find my son's roommate and his family enjoying the freshly redone and redecorated lobby of the dorm because they didn't have a room for our boys.
No. No room in the inn. Even though we had been given a room number in early June. But, only two hours later, a room had been miraculously found. Thankfully, no stable animals had to be moved.
We managed to get all of his stuff hauled into the room and still make it to the welcome ceremony for students and parents. If you will remember, they had asked all the parents for a photo of their child starting kindergarten. When we went into the gym for the ceremony, there was the large screen and the power point showing these adorable 5 year old faces. And the saddest soundtrack playing that I have ever heard. College administrators have an apparent cruel streak.
But, we didn't cry. And that made us astonishingly proud of ourselves. As did the fact that I did not hurt or maim a single person during the housing debacle. All in all, a day to be proud of.I didn't like coming home and knowing he wouldn't be here. And wouldn't come in later that night or even the next day. I wouldn't have to make sure there was orange juice in the fridge or an extra bag of tortilla chips in the pantry. No one would ask me to play Rock Band with them. No, I didn't like those things at all.
But I did like the video call I received a little while after getting home. And I loved hearing about the cool guys he has living on his hall and all the fun activities they have planned for the next few days.To all of you who have sent kids to college before, I salute you. Even though my mama actually did tell me how hard this day would be, I thought that was just because I was such an extraordinary child. (Insert sarcasm here.) And to any of you who are sending them off for the first time like me - you may cry on my shoulder any time.
As for the majority of you for whom this day is years away, start practicing your acting skills now. Because driving away with a smile on your face is truly an Oscar worthy performance.
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121 comments:
I'm glad you survived the day. I had the same experience with my only child a view years ago. For a while it seems like I lost a part of my heart. Luckily she was only an hour and half away although she had so much fun she rarely wanted to come home.
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Amen! When our son started college, we lived 8 and a half hours from his school, so we drove up one day, moved him in the next and drove home the third day. If you'd seen us in the motel room the night after we moved him in, you'd have thought we'd just gotten back from a funeral. It was awful. He left for his senior year yesterday and I'm here to tell you that it does get easier!
Oh I can't even imagine - my daughter is one! I'm so glad he's only a short drive away - I can't believe I went to school across the country...now imagining if my daughter wanted to do that? I'd have to move with her.
I can't even begin to imagine. And here I was fighting back tears last night touring the high school that my daughter is enterting this year while all the time thinking,"I really need to start saving money". Boys were looking at her, my hubs face didn't have the happy look.aaaarrrrgggghhh!!! So now I know college is not going to be fun.
*blubber* I've had enough trouble with the start of first grade (and riding the bus for the first time) this week. I can't think yet about all those other bittersweet milestones ahead.
But well done. *hug*
WOW. My oldest daughter is just becoming a freshman. I don't want to even think about college yet. I will be a complete mess without her.
You have my sympathy. My daughter will be going away to college next year and I'm already dreading it. She is considering schools anywhere from 30 minutes to 6 hours away.
Glad a room was found for your son and his roommate. I think I would have lost any composure I might have had at that point. You've earned that Oscar!
I can't even think about it, I already cry now and we've got about 12 years to go. I guess that's time for me to get it out my system, eh? Anyway, glad you survived momma. And *hugs* it's hard seeing your baby off no matter how old they are.
I am not looking forward to the college drop off either...I have 5 years til Manga Dork goes...
You said all of this so well. It truely does suck and it really doesn't help how many have walked this road before you or how much you mentally prepare for this day, because the botttom line is that it sucks to rip out a part of your heart and walk away from it, with a smile on your face.
I have done this 5 times now and each time it's hard and it sucks just the same. My heart goes out to you and every mom experiencing this. Hugs, Lori
With my first bouncing baby boy, it was the Navy. Dropping him off at 5:00 am in front of the recruiters office, watching the government van pull away with him and 12 other "boys", knowing that he couldn't even call me while in boot camp... then seeing him, 12 weeks later - proud, in uniform, marching, oh my.. I'm tearing up again.
My second bouncing baby boy - same as you - college. Now going back 2nd. year. Next year, a daughter, then finally, the youngest...
It never gets easier - I dread when the last one goes.. who will call me mom every day??
I don't even want to think about it. The mere thought brings me to the edge of tears.
Kudo's on maintaining sang-froid, Girl!
Seriously? The college administration thought the collage of 5 year old pics paired with sappy music was a GOOD idea?! What's wrong with those people!
I always act tough. Kindergarten was a piece of cake, but I admit it. College will be hard.
What sadist thought that slideshow would be a good idea?!
Seriously, I think you should withold a tuition payment for that dirty trick.
I'm glad you didn't chain yourself to a column or anything, though I'm pretty sure I will.
Oh my! I have a good 17ish years before I'll have to send my little one off to university, but reading your post gave me a lot of sympathy for MY mother. I went to college (for the first time) across the country. She had to drive me to the airport and say goodbye there! And then she had to endure years of me getting boyfriends and announcing that I was going to stay there "forever" to be with them LOL!!! In the end I moved back home and my hubby and I just bought a house 10 minutes away from her....but, man, that must have been rough for her!!!!
I'm so glad you made it through and I guess video calling will keep you much more connected than you would be otherwise! Hope your little one (not so little anymore!) has an amazing experience...I'm sure he will!
Aww...yeah, I'm not looking firward to that! It took a year of marriage, and about 15 business trips, before I could drop my hubs off at the airport without crying! (and his trips were only 2-4 nights!!)
*hugs* i'm sure he'll do well in college thanks to your excellent parenting.
Oh!!!! You poor thing! What a wonderful post. He is lucky to have a mama like you!
I'm bracing myself for kindergarten next week-- college will be a nightmare. I can't begin to imagine.
Hugs! I better start practicing now b/c my husband has already banned me from college drop off. He says I'm going to be a nightmare and he's probably right.
Just send out ESP signals to your son: "There is no place like home. There's no place like home."
Worked for my mom. I moved back home after college and stayed 'til I was married. At age 25.
Worth a try. Right?!
I have been dreading that day since the day the first was born. I can't imagine. Kudos for making it through!
You've got me blubbing! I thought it was bad enough waving them off at their first day at school...
next year is my time, I suppose I need to start my acting classes now... damnit.
You rock!
Congratulations! I remember my mother crying when I left for college..I thought something got in her eye. The only thing I can think of to say is that you wouldn't like the alternative ...him not going off to college.. these steps are hard, but we can do it! I sent my baby to kindergarten in a week!
Sheesh! I'm bawling my eyes out thinking about it---and it's still 6 years away for me. But, only six!!! When I sent my oldest on the bus to Kindergarten, I cried, and my then three-year-old said, "It's okay Mommy. She's coming back. She always comes back." Which is true. Your son's home is always your home. He'll come back.
Awe!
I dropped mine off yesterday too. The 15 texts I got helped. lol.
He'll come home a man. :)
Hang in there, Momma ! The tears are okay, especially once you get home ! You did a fine job.
A huge step for your family! I hope all goes well in his first year...one more drop off coming up, yes? Courage, Mama!
Well said. That's exactly how I felt last year!
You will get through it...just be aware that he will adjust more quickly that you will! That's the hardest part!
Pfftt. I teared up just reading this. I'm not expecting any Oscars...or even Emmy's, for that matter. LOL
I feel your pain, I really do.
XOXO
Aww, sha t bebe, I felt your pain (a little bit) because although Lil Queenie's in college and Fresh Prince starts next week...they and their senior high school brother are all still living at home. :)
To cheer yaself up, come see my BEST EVER Chicken Breast recipe and photo. *grin* Hugs!
My mom once kicked my ass out of the house in college. No sadness there.
We were ready for it and it was a piece of cake.
Why, you ask?
Because the year after he graduated from high school we sent him to Germany for a year as an exchange student.
OH. MY. GAWD.
Talk about DIFFICULT!!!!
I feel your pain, truly I do.
I'd have lost it over the dorm room incident. Good for you for keeping it together.
Oh my gosh....this made me want to cry! In fact, I'm tearing up a little bit!!!!!!!!!
I have a friend who lives in Hawaii, and her son went to college in Nebraska!!! This is his 3rd year now, so she's used to it, but still, it's not like she or he can just drive to each other!!
Oh, you poor thing {{{hugs}}}
Hard as it is to believe today, it does get easier & you will someday enjoy the benefits :-)
Speaking of ripping out hearts...sheese! You're killing me here!
I just looked over at Liam, age three, on the sofa watching Lazy Town, and I almost lost it.
*sigh* I think I'll get him a snack of OJ and Tortilla Chips. With a side of "hug". ;)
Bless your heart! You've got tears in my eyes and my oldest is only 11. Maybe he can attend the state school down the street.... :-)
I will tell you a tale of a mother who did NOT take her son to college.
She did NOT leave him in a place of higher learning.
She did NOT let him fly the nest.
She is now 95.
He is 52.
HE NEVER LEFT HOME.
So, count your blessings that you have reared an independent child.
Ohhh :( My boys are only 7, 5, and 3 and I'm already worrying about this. I'm glad he's happy and I'm glad you made it through.
Is that a picture of Dubya's first day of kindergarten?
I still remember my Mom dropping me off. I was sad when I got my last hug. I was fine. I mean I only had to drive 45 mins. to see her. But when I move to a different state it was harder. Yeah to you for being so strong. I hope you have a great weekend.
And I bet he's missing you as much as you are him!
Oh how sad! Well I guess that's better then actually wanting him to leave home for college right? I remember I cried the first night I moved into my new apartment in college. I'm sure he misses you too!
:(
Nope won't do it! i'll just move in next door to his dorm :)
will they let me do that?
no?
bummer :(
That picture thing is too cruel. I hope you get used to the empty house.
You probably deserve two Oscars.
thanks for the advise, It will be years for mine but when I think of it it makes me sad. I guess it will be bittersweet.
OMG!!! I am a terrible mother. I was just counting down the days today until I can get supersperm outta the house.
I need to sign him up for more summer camps next year. HE'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!
oh, just great! I've got a lump in my throat already and my son is just starting....kindergarten!!!!
Love the picture of Bush haha that's great! Glad you could overcome your kids housing crisis.
*Sniffs*
I know I'll hate dropping my kids off. Because then I'll be all, "Crap, now I have to actually TALK to your father.." I'm kidding.
But it will be hard.
Debbie, I know, I know. I cried for many many miles when we dropped our first one off. She's the only girl.
It hit me again the first time we stopped on the way home for potty. I had to go into the scary potty place by myself. :-(
Have a wonderful weekend. Relax. Sounds like you did a fantastic job, that he loves you, that he will come home often and bring his friends! ♥
Oh Debbie, you did good :-) I can only imagine how tough that was.
My husband's grand daughter flies to the opposite coast on Tuesday for her first year at college and the tears are already pouring out of her mother and grand father.
Oy. Hang in there.
xo
And here I was feeling sorry for myself bcs my 3 year old spent her first night out last night (w grandies) and wouldn't speak to me on the phone this morning! What will I do when this day arrives? You shouldn't homeschool past high school right? ;o)
Oh, bless you. I can't imagine how hard that must have been. I cry taking my kids to day care every time I have to do it.
You're such a strong mama! I would probably be a bawling mess, and I only have Chihuahuas.
My acting skills stink. I cried and cried and cried. I cried the whole day and for the following several days all day long. Gradually it let up but I still cry every single time they go back from a break or whatever. It all began on the first day of preschool.
I feel your pain 100%.
I have a few years left, but you def. handled it better than I will! You're a good mama!
Sounds like you all did really well. Be thankful for video phones, etc. Wasn't that long ago that all you had was the occasionaly telephone call.
If you smiled at all, you deserve one million dollars! I'm sorry, lady. This had to be so hard. Hang in there. Thinking of you...
What a heartbreaker :-(
What's worse than dropping off your 18 year old son is having him call you THREE hours later, crying because he's already homesick!
Glad to hear you made it through the day (and that they found a room for him!!). I can't imagine what I'll be like when I drop Noah off at college... I couldn't even send him to daycare!! I guess I have about another 17 years to get used to the idea.
Awwww...I'm dreading this day. You done good...and now you have to do it again! I wonder if it will be any easier the second time? I suspect not.
Yeah, it really sucks, doesn't it. I'm so glad my two college girls aren't very far away.
I'll need you to give me lessons to pull that performance off. Congratulations - I know it's a sad day, but you raised him to be independent and got him all the way to college. I'm still impressed.
ahhhh i got all teary imaging it... i better start prepping now!! i hope he's having a blast! keep your head up mama!
Stumbled here onto your blog and it must be fate, because I shall be going through the same experience in 4 weeks' time! Like you say, millions have trod that path before, but when it is your own child, that is all that matters. Hope your son is settling in well now. Wait till he comes home with the dirty laundry!
Well said, my friend, well said!
I have a 17 year old - he's a senior this year. Right now I feel like I can't wait for him to
go to college (he's driving me crazy). I know that when the day comes, I will feel like I just gave my heart to strangers.
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Oh Debbie, how true.
We don't send our kids to college here, they all go to University which every province has.
But I think it would be great for them to go and on the other hand I am happy that I didn't have to practice those acting skills.
You did a good job Mom.
xooxo
Hugs and an Oscar to you, my dear! Well done.
We're about to start the college app process.
I'm trying to breathe deeply and keep the emotions at bay.
Not easy.
Sob! I feel for you ..I miss my girls every day - they both live thousands of miles away..
My little one starts first grade this year. And I get teary when they change a shoe size!
Mine is married now (at 29) and at 30 is expecting his first child - there's so much more to gain as the years pass *smiling*
I rememeber when son D moved to Oregon - it was hard watching him drive away - so far away! There are no quick visits - this is a 38-40 hour drive.....
(as to your comment - we need to get together again! We're letting time slip by)
It will get better, though you will always miss your babies when they grow up. It was hard when each of ours moved out, one to get married and move across the country, one to go to college and one to join the Army. It is hard watching them leave, but they always come back. (Sometimes a LOT. LOL!)
Ouch. I too am glad you made it. Must have been a real kicker to see the administration was so not on top of things. I guess there's an extra fee for efficiency--or the real room and not the illusion.
I hope the profs have their room assignments.
Oh.......my heart aches just reading this. Bravo, mama. Bravo.
OMG, I only have 5 years left before my twin boys graduate from high school.... then I will lose them both at once. I can't even think about it without tearing up. It will be like being forced to retire from a job you love. I feel your pain. Please let us know how it goes over the next few months.
You poor girl. I have to say that Anna is getting on my last nerve and I can't wait until she is off to college in one year. But we will see how it actually goes when I drop her off and leave. I bet I will be a mess and sorry I have said I can't wait to ship her off. I'll check back in a year.
Golly what lucky kids they are. On the weekend before my first day at college, I packed a light bag, paid for my own train ticket, and headed to darkest Hertfordshire, to move into the box room of a council house 'owned' or at least overseen by an girl a year older than me. No weeping mother, no lift in the family car, no parental hounding of the authorities when the accommodation turned out to be 'inappropriate' (not even a desk in the room, and the tv on full blast 24/7). Bitter? Me? Maybe!
so both the boys are at college now? if there was a slide show of a whole bunch of 5 year olds - there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house!!!
Just got home an hour ago. I'm feeling your pain. AND I get to do it again in 2 weeks.
Ouch.
What a touching post -- I'm not a mom, but sometimes I imagine how bittersweet must be the changes in the lives of children as they grow up and move from life stage to life stage. You sound like a wonderful, supportive mom.
I think the first time I saw my dad cry was when he dropped me off at university for the first time. I've never forgotten that moment.
I just don't think I can ever do it. Tears are streaming down my face for you. I know he will have fun and be happy. OH MY GOODNESS. You are going to be ok. Better than ok. Everything will turn out well and everyone will be happy. I just know it.
You do deserve an award : )
My oldest is six days away from that moment and it already makes me want to cry. You did good. Real good. I wanted to cry and he's not even my son.
Thanks for the reminder to cherish these days ... even the ones where shipping them off somewhere doesn't seem like such a bad idea! ;0)
I still remember the first day without my daughter and son in the house. It was hard, and I found myself getting up in the night and still checking their rooms as if I would somehow find them there. It gets better though, and now they each have their own families. (my son has a son, and my daughter is due next month) Letting go also means having more blessings as you see your kids grow into adults.
Greeeaaatttt! The driver's license was bad enough last week. I think I will be a blubbering idiot when I leave him for college!
{{{sigh}}}}
It didn't get any easier on me on child three...I am sorry...I can't imagine how badly I would have done if I sent him off to war...thankfully I didn't have to do any of that! God bless you...I know you don't care now but it does get easier when they are around 30! :)
Sending love and hugs!
oh look at you! well he called you later - video called even - and gave you a full scoop so you obviously did your acting well enough and he didn't start his semester off as"the freshman with the insanely hormonal mom" or any other embarrassing titles.
This is not a day I look forward to.
I've never sent a child off to college but I did send my oldest son off to war, when he was in the Navy.He was 19 years old. Seeing that ship pull away from the dock is the biggest tear jerker ever. The good thing...I was there to see the ship come home 9 months later. Yeah!!!
What a truly beautiful post!
Your heartfelt words brought a tear to my eye. Good on you for holding up during the photo's session (I don't know if either I or my husband would be that strong) and especially for your Oscar winning smile. Meryl certianly has nothing on you!
Our son is two years away yet you have got me thinking...and appreciating.
Thank you for such a beautiful post.
i'm crying here.
i did this 2 years ago with z-man -- and nearly died from it.
he's back, with his AA in culinary arts, and life is the same.
except waaaaay different.
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Visiting from SITS.
What a well written post. I can't imagine how hard that is. My baby is only 9 so I have some time left. This summer he was with his grandma in another state for 10 days which was all together too long for me.
Your son is lucky to have you as his mom! Thanks for stopping by!
Ok, this just made me grab my 13 year old and hugged extra hard. He even called out a warning to his twin that I was in one of those weird moods again.
And for the record I was NOT humming Sunrise, Sunset. :}
Yep, I have a graduate that did 4 1/2 years and now Daughter #2 is beginning her 2nd year. It's tough but it's how things are meant to be. *sigh*
Feelin' it friend!
My daughter starts first day of classes tomorrow. I'm blessed this year because she decided on a college close to home and will be staying at home one more year. Next year though she plans to transfer to one about 3 hours away. The hard part for me this summer was sending my 19 yr old son off to boot camp for the Army. I still get teary eyed every Sunday when he calls.
You poor thing - I'm sure you will miss him the most over these next few weeks, then you will become accustomed to missing him. :(
Wow,I'm having a hard time now knowing that my oldest (14) is starting high school next week. I can't imagine when she goes off to college. I'm hoping she goes somewhere nearby.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and thanks for the kind comments about my daughter & her hairdo.
So, it's a good thing I'm home along, because this post made me choke on my lean pocket and tears started spewing out my nose. My son won't start Kindergarten for at least another year, but I'm already a nervous wreck about him growing up and leaving home. Geez, I'd like to stop crying now, but I don't think I can.
My third child started college last week. It's very difficult because we live in Paraguay and she went to Florida.We couldn't take her and I feel so terrible!
When our oldest daughter went to the states for college, we still lived in the jungle with only a Hamm radio for communication which she did not have in the dorm. She was only 16 and we only talked by phone every 3 or 4 months.
I'm still recovering... she is fine.
Sounds like my son's first day at Kindergarten only a lot worse for the parent. It's definitely quiet without the boy here for big chunks of the day. *sigh*
my youngest starts pre-k on Monday so I have similar feelings.
As you have read at my place, my youngest started Kinder. My biggest fear is that they won't want to talk to me as they get older. I didn't with my parents, not because of adolescence, but because we weren't close. How did you maintain that relationship with your kids so that they would WANT to talk with you about what was going on. I am open with them, but I can see them slowly slipping away. My 8 year old has never been superfluous with words, how do I get him to be?
It doesn't get any easier with the 2nd child either. I'm glad you didn't cry. I didn't cry at the school. I waited until I got back on the plane to return home. I cried all three hours we were in the air. Ran out of tissues, and gotta say the t.p. in airline bathrooms is not very soft.
I cannot imagine!!!
{{hugs}}
I will not have this problem with Landon. I'm going with him as his roomate!!! LOL.
I can't even think about this (which will not happen to me for 11 more years) without a tear. I hope the practice in the next 11 years really works. My parents sent me to a boarding high school when I was 15. It was fantastic for me, but I have no idea how they did it. I hope I will not be doing that. (But at that age, maybe I will wish I could!)
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