This summer, a new Habitat for Humanity neighborhood began development in my town. Habitat is an organization that I believe in whole-heartedly. We have supported them financially over the years. This summer, my husband and one son actually worked building the first house in the neighborhood.
They enjoyed working alongside other like-minded people wanting to help as well as the family that would live in the house. Additionally, some future homeowners were working on the house too. They made it into an event with on-site lunches and lots of fun as well as hard work.
Two weekends ago, the new owner was handed the keys to her new house.
Two days ago, someone set a fire on the front porch.
I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach when I read the article in our paper. The homeowner said, "I didn't think something like this would happen so soon." Why would it happen at all? What comes over people to do such cruel things?
So today, I got a nice big basket and loaded up some kitchen staples and took them over to that house. I'm not telling you this because I want you all to praise me or think I'm a great person. I sincerely hope not a one of you will say anything like that in the comments. Honestly.
I'm telling you this because of two reasons.
One, it was an easy thing to do. It wasn't that expensive. It took only a few minutes of my time to put together something that I hope will lift her spirits. And that is exactly why I did it. I would like her to know that there are people here who want her to be happy in her home. Who are proud of her for helping to build that home and the homes of other people. Who want to see her succeed and would like to help in some small way.
Secondly, I tell you this to confess. I have not been a person who acts on a local level. I write a check. I send money. If there is a catastrophe, I happily send money to the Red Cross. Then, I mark it off my list and move on. It was easy for me to be a "couch donor". I've decided I don't want to live like that anymore.
I can't promise you I'll act every time I read a story about someone being down on their luck. But, I'm going to try to do it more often. Sure, I'm still going to send a few checks. We all need to continue to support these organizations - now more than ever.
I want to reach out. I want my kids to see that it is easy to help someone who is having a hard time. We don't have to know their whole story. It's OK that their lives aren't just like ours.
I left the basket of food hidden behind a chair on her front porch. I hope she came home and was uplifted seeing that someone cared.
It was easy. You want to try it with me?
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I did. And the bloggers helped. I wrote it a couple of days ago. "There once was a man..."
I'm not going to say how wonderful you are. That annoys me too....it's basic human behavior, isn't it? Good on you, Debbie, for writing it up and bringing it to light....
xoxo
I always hate it when people say Habitat is a joke, or retaliate against the people who are getting homes. I dont think they understand that the home owners not only have to pay for their home but they have to help build it and numerous others before they can even apply. Good job Girl!
What an important lesson. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I'll do better, too.
You are a good person, Debbie. Who knew?!?
Very inspiring post and motivating as well!! Thank you! Silke
Random acts of kindness do as much for the giver as the do for the recipient.
Bring it on, Debbie. ;-) What a great thing to teach to the kids! Mine are still at an age where they have very few preconceived notions about people. It's quite the responsibility to raise them free from bias!
Years ago I was able to contribute (via corporation money) to Habitat Humanity in Miami. More importantly, I was able to travel to Miami and work for a week on the home that we (as a corporation) supported. I was there for the ceremonial "key" giving. I was there working along side the new homeowner. I saw her tears. I felt her gratitude and that of her 3 small children.
She received nothing compared to what I was given. I will never forget how gratifying it was to do physical work - to give of myself - to this cause.
I know you don't want to hear or read this. Same as I don't want praise or thanks for my contribution years ago. But you know what ? You did good. AND it feels good to do good.
It feels right. And right is what America used to be about and I believe is STILL about. So, from the bottom of my heart - thank you.
And to the perps that set that fire. Shame. Shame on you from the community. Shame on you from America. YOU will not prevail. We will. Because we have hope. Because we have love. Because we have faith in the human cause.
This country needs more people who are willing to do RAK's or to simply "Pay it Forward." I think you made the lady's day and you should feel proud of yourself for acting so selflessly.
What a heartless, horrible, wrong thing to do. People can be so vile.
that's wonderful, deb. paying it forward... i'm trying to teach this to my girls as well.
Thank you for sharing this. It makes me realize the numerous ways I can help locally, too!
Good for you! I did not used to be one of deep pockets...I have always been one of a deep heart...besides that, I like to be hands on to see where my effort goes. I prefer the hands on approach.
I hope they catch the rats who did this.
Rock on!!!
xo, Mango
What kind of asshole sets fire to a habitats for humanity house???
You are a lovely and kind person Debbie!
It's the little things that help RESTORE our faith in humanity, when we need it the most.
Habitat does a fantastic job, and I was happy to help on a house several years ago. I want to know what basic things people are not being taught to allow them to do crappy stuff like set that fire? I too, write the check and move on, but I'd like to do more -esp. to teach my kids that it's important. Thanks for bringing up the topic.
Do you know that I gasped as I read that someone set fire to her porch? It just seems unfathomable to me.
Thank you for reminding us all that we all have a little more work to do. . .
I had the honor of working on a Habitat House in Bedford Stuyvesant many moons ago. It is one of the greatest organizations going. So why haven't I gotten involved in the local chapter in my community??
Thanks for the kick in the pants. And I hope that the stupid fire setter gets what's coming to him. God was watching.
Thanks for reminding me to keep my eyes open - here at home. It takes little effort to write a check; but when we put our hearts into a personal effort, we make a personal investment. We all need to make more personal investments - one person at a time....that's how we're going to change the world into a more caring place. Good on you!
Thanks for reminding me to keep my eyes open - here at home. It takes little effort to write a check; but when we put our hearts into a personal effort, we make a personal investment. We all need to make more personal investments - one person at a time....that's how we're going to change the world into a more caring place. Good on you!
How horrible. That is really a disgrace. I've been half-ass working on a few charitable projects lately.... thanks for the push. I need to get it in gear! And I think what you did was so good. I had to add that even if that isn't what you wanted to hear. People like you make this world a better place.
I'm all for acting locally. Can you imagine what a different world we would live in if everyone tried just a little harder to do the same.
I don't understand that kind of behavior. To what end?
Seriously..to what end?
All I can say to that pig is karma, baby, karma.
My heart sank when I read what those heathens did. I have no patience for bullies and cowards like that. Thank you for writing about this. I wish her well and hope that other neighbours come forward and make her feel welcome. - G
How absolutely horrible! But you are inspiring!!!!!!! ~Janine XO
I couldnt agree with you more. I think Habitat is a great organization. I have often been a couch donor as well to Red Cross, local Humane Society, American Cancer society. As god as it feels to give money, it feels so much better when I get off my couch and do something to help
I believe those are things we should do. Having a reminder such as yours is one we need at times. I also find doing things anonymously to be much more rewarding.
Right on.
I don't know what Habitat is, but it sounds like a great project.
Glad to hear that you are acting on a local level. I certainly hope that the homeowners felt your caring!
I try, even little things like participating in car washes help, I think. I particularly like to try and find ways to help the Teen Challenge close to my home.
Who would do such a hateful thing?
I volunteered for Habitat for a few months a few years ago. Wasn't cut out for site work so they sent me to their office to make calls and organize community events. It was fun. Met a lot of great people and felt great to help out. I don't have as much time on my hands these days nor do I have the $$$ to contribute anymore (the economy has made me her bitch) but I am certain that your gift basket was appreciated.
Happy Belated SITS Day by the way! Didn't have time to comment but have been meaning to congratulate you ever since!
I've been thinking the same. Yesterday my Dad e-mailed me: "There is a local group that runs a shelter/kitchen/life skills program for women. They serve 8 women at a time, and need someone to bring breakfast and dinner the first Tuesday of every month. Can we do it?" YES we can! For those 8 women, we can make a difference.
Have you heard the story about a little boy walking down the beach, throwing sand dollars in the water? An older man watched him, and then said "You know son, you can't throw them ALL back in. You can't make a difference. Why try?" The little boy picked up another sand dollar and looked at it, then threw it as far as he could back into the water. "Made a difference to that one."
That's just awful that someone would set fire to her porch. That's just wrong.
I'm proud of you for doing something to lift her spirits and show her that not all people are like that. We need more people to reach out in kindness. I'll try to do more too.
Great post and I agree about the local help. It is easy to write a check.
I took a gift to a neighbor who had just had surgery and he said I was the only neighbor to stop and how nice it is to have that close feeling again.... who knew. I made a friend that day and I admit it felt nice
I prefer helping within the community too.
Sometimes I get really down about the cruelness of others. I don't get the reason for this 'human behavior'. It's so much easier to just be nice. Even though I've never been a person who stops to help others at a moment's notice. I have a cousin who is so willing to serve instantly. She would do anything. I admire this so much. Wish I'd gotten her traits. Like Tricia said....Good Jog, Girl!
Reaching out is a great thing to do. But writing checks is not bad, either.
This gets sticky, though.
What you did was right and good and a great example, for sure. Setting that fire was deplorable.
But I have a child who wants to give something to everyone who begs on the sidewalk. They break her heart. She is a sweet child. She wants to give them her money. We have tried to steer her towards giving her money (and time, for sure!) to charities rather than to folks on the street. We have also encouraged her to carry packs of crackers or some other small item of food she could give to folks who are begging for money for food.
I guess I'm just saying it's a fine line. I'm all for acting locally and I'm a HUGE fan of paying it forward. I agree that we don't need to know the whole story to help. But I don't want my child's hard-earned allowance to go towards feeding an addiction - though I'm proud that she wants to use it to help someone in need.
Ack - I feel like a terrible person for even writing that in response to such a lovely and charitable post...
Your personal connection with a small gift basket meant way more than a check from the red cross for this family. I audibly gasped when I read that someone set fire to their porch!!! Ridiculous.
The fire was probably due to youth with way too much time on their hands.
Ooops! It's always good to proofread before hitting submit... ;)
I also audibly gasped when I read that someone set fire to their porch... I can't understand the mind set for people to be so cruel to other people.
I agree with Hit40 - your personal connection with a small gift basket meant way more than a check from the red cross for this family.
Count me in.
Haven't read any report - are you saying it was indisputable act of arson?
Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. I find it hard to control my emotions when I read of arson, makes me want to set fire to the arsonist - I mean, they can't really complain can they?
We've always had very kind neighbours, moving to new home in about a month and I want to make sure we are kind and helpful wherever we can be.
I'm sure this small gesture made the woman's day. I wish her much love and peace in her transition and hope she doesn't encounter any more haters.
Proud to call you friend! Doing these things really is selfish in a way, isn't it, because you get SO much more out of it than the recipients. Doing a blitz build for HfH was one of the best experiences ever. I get the same great returns cooking for the men's shelter on regular rotation. Little RAK's (Random Acts of Kindness) are lotsa fun too, like paying for someone's coffee or paying a restaurant tab anonymously. Joy joy!! :D
Well said, Debbie. I will join you.
Now... wanna adopt a kitten?!
I'm going to follow your instructions and not praise you or tell you that you are a good person. But I do think your reminder that it is easier to be a "couch donor" than to act locally is a good one. A very good one. But I think it is more meaningful and a way to directly touch a life without worrying that your money is going to address labels or gift wrap for more fundraising things. Lovely post.
How awful about the fire - it's disheartening to know there are people who do those things. But thank you for that very inspiring post.
I'm sure her spirits were lifted more than you'll ever know. I'm proud to call you my friend!
Why would someone destroy property like that?
Can I still please say that you're a good person and I'm impressed? K good.
That being said-I love how Habitat for Humanity requires the families they help to work on their homes and others as well. I think that's important. I feel badly for that family-and hope there are others like you who will reach out and make them feel like they're wanted.
Habitat is an awesome orginization. :) I just gave you an award over at my blog!
HOW HORRIBLE that someone would set fire to such a world of good? It's completely unfathomable and wretched.
Thank you for doing what you can to help. Though you weren't looking for the praise, it's deserved. And thanks for being such a great example for your kids.
people constantly amaze me at their hatefulness. but you're exactly right, the only way we can combat it is with love.
That story has made me ill. How revolting!
Do us a favor and make sure to let us know if they catch these idiots. What kind of mind is so hateful that they would like to see people die in a fire?
I say put them in the medical testing labs. Dont we need some breakthru's on some nasty diseases like aids or cancer or something...
man that kind of stuff just breaks my heart...why are people so hurtful? and you're right, it's easy to be a couch donor...but we need to be out doing...thanks for the reminder :)
My heart fell to the ground when you told me about the fire on the porch...sometimes helping someone is as easy as a smile.
much love!
My roommate in college was Millard Fuller's daughter. (The founder of Habitat.) That cause is amazing, and I really appreciate you reminding me that acting on a "worldwide" level is important, but sometimes the things I can do for my neighbors are as important.
"I didn't think something like this would happen so soon." Holy crap! I can't imagine living in fear of something like this EVER happening to my home. That just breaks my heart. I hope they catch the SOB who did this and lock him/her/them up forever.
And I'm sure the homeowner will be touched by your kindness.
xo
I hate it that she would have expected it to happen!!!
I am glad you took the basket...for her and her family...it will confirm that NOT EVERYONE is bad or out to get something or take something from her!
When I taught in an elementary school, we always ran a fundraiser for our local Habitat for Humanity. They do a wonderful job of giving back to those in need. You rock!!! BTW, you are such a great supporter in the blogosphere. I would love to follow your blog if you follow as well! ;)
I would like to do more of that too. It is too easy to make a donation and I think the littler things like your basket is SO MUCH more meaningful and more personal.
amen, sister. send a check--tis the American way. . .way to step it up and encourage us to think/act! I think we all think about helping way more than we actually do. . .
It does boggle the mind to think of people who would act in such a despicable manner -setting the porch afire on a home -any home -but especially this one. I would hope the law enforcement units find whoever did this and punish them to the max. Sick people, just sick, sick, sick.
My heart goes out to that lady. And it was a good thing what you did. Our society needs more people who give of themselves without expecting anything in return.
Thanks so much for the follow! I am following the fifth page in. You have so many followers because YOU ROCK! Looking forward to blogging with you.:)
It's really sad in this day and age that you have to preface your tale of your random act of kindness by telling people what you're not wanting. I think it does take a great person to do that!
I wish more people would tell their good deed stories. It may start to become contagious! What a concept, eh?
How disgusting someone set fire to their porch. The poor family. I hope she found your basket and that it gave her some kind of renewed faith in mankind.
Kids don't understand the writing of checks. It's not personal enough. What you did today sends a message they can understand.
You are wonderful though.
I would love to do it with you!! For some reason this post reminded me of a post I read earlier this morning. It will bring a smile to you face. http://thenewsixty.blogspot.com/2009/09/uh-you-want-me-to-do-what.html
Just went through and read your last 7 posts. How in the heck did I get so far behind?
I just hope whoever set fire to her porch has that out of their system, and will allow her to enjoy her new home.
Something I've learned is that occasionally, Fate taps you on the shoulder, points out a fellow human in need and says, "That one's yours."
It doesn't happen all the time. But it's good to learn the signs for when you've been tapped. And then act.
Well done, you. We are our brother's keepers, no matter how much we'd like to believe otherwise.
:-)
Many don't understand that those people who 'earn' a Habitat home go through huge scrutiny and they work on their home and they pay for it.
Perhaps resentment caused this horrid act, misunderstanding, and obviously, hate. I'm hoping that fire was caught soon, that people will pull together and rebuild what was destroyed. I'm proud to know you.
I haven't been able to comment much lately. Death in our family really forces a reality check. Exhausts you emotionally. I'm glad I came here tonight, Debbie.
I'm with ya, sista-friend.
What a nice thing to do. I know it lifted that family's spirits.
I have something for you on my blog.
I love the feeling I get when I do a random act for someone. I work to help my kids to feel that same feeling by helping others, not for the recognition, but for the feeling of thinking outside of themselves
Thanks for giving us a boost in our service work!! I am so busy that I don't even have the time to take care of my own house and family sometimes, but this is something that could be done----in say----10 minutes!
Good on you, anyway....
I can't believe that. What comes over people to be so mean. I have actually been thinking the same thing about taking more interest and being a part of the community. We do all have that responsability.
It is a good thing to fight meanness with kindness.
I will. I've been wanting to take my son to Martha's Table in DC where I used to volunteer. It's a kitchen that distributes food to homeless shelters, and I will pursue it now.
Years ago, I helped out with Habitat. It was Feb and it was freezing, the nails would not stay in my fingers, but it was some other kind of joy, to work beside other people and with the man whose HOME it was going to be.
I hope that lady finds joy and peace in her new home.
What an awful thing to happen to her, why would someone do that /???
Random Acts of Kindness are the best acts of kindness.
Greg and I have donated money to causes and recently started to work for the Second Harvest as volunteers. It's not glamor work, nobody will see our work... it's moving boxes of food into categories so that it can be shipped to various locations to feed those in need. Actions speak loudly, I think we need to give with actions as much as monetary. Excellent post.
What the hell is wrong with people? Why would they set fire to her porch?
I suffer from a bit of couch donor syndrome myself, so thanks for the bit of a push!
arrrggghhh...what kind of jerk would set fire to her porch??? Pathetic.
"couch donor" is a good way of putting it; I think we are all guilty of doing the same at some point :-(
It's really easy to get caught up in your "busy" life and not have time to do things like this. And sometimes it's legitimate. But sometimes it's not. If we can make time to catch up on our favorite TV shows when we have free time, we can probably find time to make an effort to get involved at least a few times a year. This coming from someone who is SO busy right now....
Seriously? Someone set fire to the new house? My heart aches.
I'll join you!
That is so horrible that someone did that to the person who just moved into the Habitat home.
Acting locally is important. I try to do it but I'm not perfect.
I also think Habitat for Humanity is a great organization. That was terrible that someone set the new homeowner's porch on fire. But I know she really appreciated the basket you brought her.
Stopping by from SITS
http://fabulousgccandles.blogspot.com/2009/08/why-gold-canyons-candles-are-best.html
why are people so cruel (fire setters)?
I'm glad there's still kindness in the world to balance it out.
I think that's what she'll take away from the basket -- the kindness. More nourishing than food.
You are speaking my language right now! I'm having a tough time trying to figure out where to begin. It will come.
Wow, that's unbelievable that anyone would do such a thing. How sad for her.
I couldn't believe this....someone set fire to the porch? Shame on them....
You did a very nice random act of kindness, and I'll do the same for someone, and then someone else will do the same for someone, and the random acts of kindness will continue! :)
Very inspiring post...thanks for sharing.
I am waving at you - from across the smoky mountains - HI THERE!
Why in the world would someone set fire to it?? Envy? HfH is such a great organization. My mother was driving nails and painting windows until she was 85 yrs. old!
If it were not for others like you some would lose hope altogeather.
Great post. We've done the same here (leaving food). I give when i can. And actually when I can't. :)
You make a great point about being more than a "couch donor". I can't say that I have done more than that in the past, but I'm willing to join you in an effort to be more personal in my giving.
who'd do such a mean thing?
kudos to habitat, and to you...
I think this is a great thing to do. Most people do the long distance donation thing, but just imagine what a difference it would make in communities if everybody just did one small act of kindness- locally. The world would undoubtedly be a better place. Until I had the trips I had a BBBS 'Little sister'.. it was a rewarding and totally worthwhile way to give back to my community. Once my kids get a little older I hope I can get back into it!
I thinking doing those simple little things can do so much, I think about how much I appreach just someone coming over and helping with something simple.
Rick worked on H4H last year, it was a very amazing experience. It's the little things that mean so much!
Debbie thanks for setting an example for others and posting about it I know you don't want praise because you didn't do it for that. But I want to say thanks for posting this to remind all of us to do a little something special it can change a person life.
Our lives changed when my husband and I volunteered for the first time with Appalachian Service Project over ten years ago. We went from couch contributors to ones who rolled up our sleeves and tried our best to help, including with H4H.
It is sad and pathetic how some people actually "choose" to be cruel and act upon it. The wisdom of "Love is an action," could never be more true! Thanks for the inspiration! I'm sure your neighbor more than appreciated your "Welcome to the neighborhood" kind gift!
Local level. Wow, this hits me. I don't do that either but need to. I am in. It was wonderful what you did, thank you for inspiring me and sharing this story.
Hurray! This is what I do all year for the families at my school. Collect items that I get for free at the supermarkets and drugstores with coupons, then put them in baskets at the holiday time to help them. These are things that food stamps do NOT help out with. I hope I am making a little difference and my kids get to participate in all the coupon shopping and some of the giving. :)
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