I hope everyone has heard about the woman in Ohio, Carolyn Savage, who gave birth this weekend to a healthy baby boy. 40 year old Savage had received an embryo transfer at an infertility clinic. Ten days later, she received a phone call informing her that she had been implanted with the embryo that actually belonged to Paul and Shannon Morrell of Detroit. The Morrells were informed of the clinic's error the following day after Savage's notification.
As I said, Savage gave birth to the baby boy this weekend. She immediately handed the baby over to the Morrells.
So here's a woman - a 40 year old woman - who became pregnant through the help of an infertility clinic. I don't know further information about Mrs. Savage. I don't know if she has other children. We can assume she was willing to undergo tremendous financial, emotional, and physical hardships to become pregnant. Otherwise, she wouldn't be needing the assistance of an infertility clinic.
And a miracle occurred. She did become pregnant. Only to learn that the life she was carrying inside her was the genetic offspring, as well as the hopes and dreams, of another couple.
Mrs. Savage could have terminated the pregnancy. She could have fought for custody of the baby she nourished and gave life to. But she didn't.
In a world where it seems everyone is only out for his or herself (Kanye, anyone?) and children are often used for monetary gain and 15 minutes of fame (Gosselins? Octomom?), here is a woman who performed an unbelievable act of selflessness.
She spent the better part of her 40th year of life giving birth to a baby for a couple she had never met.
Every year I am astounded at who the media chooses for Mother of the Year. It's always someone with billions of dollars, six nannies, and several homes to spare. This year, I think we have a clear winner.
Carolyn Savage is my pick for the epitome of Mother of the Year.
Several readers knew more details about this story. Apparently the Savages do have three children, thankfully. As the commenters pointed out, that still doesn't make her act any less amazing.
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I read this story on CNN.com last week, before the baby was actually born. (They had an update once he was born.)
Just FYI, the Savages have 3 children already. The initial story didn't identify the "DNA parents" (as they were called in the article) by name, but the follow-up did. The follow-up also contained a quote by the Savages in which they wished the other family well with their new baby boy and their other children.
So, as terrible a mix-up as this was, at least this wouldn't have been the Savages' first child. Not that that fact makes it any easier or better or less selfless, mind you; I fully agree that this was definite Mother of the Year level actions on Mrs. Savage's part. All I'm saying is that my heart ached a tiny bit less for the Savages once I read that this would not have been their first child.
(I say that as a mother who struggled with infertility myself. My heart always breaks when I hear of other folks going through infertility issues...)
I second your nomination!
xo, Mango
Wow. Talk about selfless. I love that there are still people out there with really good hearts and trying to do the right thing even when life hands them a really difficult situation. Amazing.
I saw both couples on the Today Show. Just shaking my head at the whole ordeal, and can't imagine what either mother was thinking or going through emotionally during this time.
It sounded as if both couples handled the situation extremely well. I can't imagine...and yes, I would second your nomination! She will have a long emotional recovery period, I'm sure.
Great story!
There's a little more to the story. Both women had had babies through this process before and saved the extra embryos. The Savages had three kids, but didn't want to destroy the extra embryos, so they decided to try for one more child. We know what happened next.
Also, because of her decision to keep this child inside her, she gave up her chance at having other children (for health reasons). However, she will be using the extra embryos with a surogate.
The Morrells had twins, but one was born deaf. After having to deal with that situation, they took a while before deciding it was time to try again, using the last of their stored embryos. Luckily, the Savages didn't destroy the Morells only chance at having another child.
This was truly a touching story.
Lynnette Labelle
http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com
It's a really complex situation. I would hope that if I had ever ended up in that situation I could do the selfless thing.
i had no idea! What a wonderful thing she did!! How hard for her! I hope she is able to give birth to her baby too!
Without knowing anything else, just the fact that at 40 she is high risk...and chose to carry a baby that could cost her her life...
It's one thing t o make that sacrifice for a child you plan on raising...another for one that you have no ties to unless the other family allows it.
Amazing woman.
Wow, it makes you wonder how many other women (myself included) could be that self-less? And it also makes me wonder how the clinic could make such a mistake like this? What - do they pull random folks off the street to go and work for them? Here, plant some embryos today, it isn't difficult. Oh wait, you have to READ the labels first. Anyway, great story and I hope she is at least in the running for the motherhood prize!
I have been fascinated by this story as well - these families have taken an incredibly difficult situation and made it an example of pure love. Simply beautiful.
My thought though is, how could you not do what Carolyn Savage did?
I read several interviews with the couple. They said that the only choice they had, if they were to live their beliefs, was to carry the child to term.
Walking the walk not just talking the talk.
She gets my vote and he gets my vote for Father of the Year as well.
how incredibly heartbreaking!
i've been away from the news as of late and had not heard about this... wow. agreed.
This is an amazing story. It is wonderful to see that there are still real people out there. I hope my daughter will grow up to be like this woman. You do not see this every day.
Carolyn Savage did something almost Godly by giving the baby up. She will probably be tied to that child emotionally forever.
Yes, this woman did a courageous thing...but just imagine how she would have been villified in the press if she had done anything else...I wonder whether she actually felt she had no option...
I have seen interviews with both couples recently. Of couse, she did the right thing. What other choice is there?
Truly an amazing couple. I don't think I could do that to be honest. Pregnancy is tough!
Beautiful stories like this REALLY should get more attention. I hadn't heard about this at all- it should be covered more fully on the news instead of all the other crap we keep getting. ANYWAY! Lovely thing for that mother to do- talk about self sacrifice- to be an accidental surrogate mother. Beautiful story.
Wow.
I hadn't read about this.
Amazing.
I hadn't heard about this--thanks for bringing it to my attention. It's all about doing what's right. When you are doing the right thing, it isn't as hard as it might seem. However, we don't have enough people in this world who are interested in doing the right thing, no matter how hard. She is an amazing woman.
I read about this yesterday. So amazing. I wonder what the legalities would be if she had decided to keep the baby.
having three kids already, makes her act even MORE selfless because you know the love you are giving away!!! Wow, I think that woman is the miracle!!!!
This was a selfless and beautiful act. You know by now the Savages do have other children, but another kicker here was this was her last opportunity to have a child. After this pregancy, should would not be able to carry anymore children. How bittersweet.
I wonder if some kind soul could return the favor for her.
Wow-what an amazing selfless act. I hope more people here about it to see the world still has good people in it.
What a great story and thanks for those filling in the details.
Couple of the year for sure, and i think the other comments about say it all.
xx
I feel so bad for the Savages. I had two miscarriages and after one of them, a co-worker told me, "well at least you have two healthy children."
As if it discounted what I'd just gone thru. It didn't. I was entitled to feeling depressed. But wow, to carry the child of someone else to full term and give it away... I can't imagine.
Thank-you for this story Deb. I loved it and it uplifted me.
I loved this selfless story! I do not know many people who would hand the baby over like that. They seem to be an amazing couple!
Wow that is an amazing act of kindness and selflessness. Even if they had 3 kids already, carrying a someone else's baby and then giving it them without knowing beforehand what you were doing, is still incredibly selfless and beautiful. I hadn't read this before on the news or anything, thanks for bringing such an inspiring story!
I like to think I would have done the same...but honestly I think I might have fought to keep the baby.
I second your awe and admiration. All sacrifices are laced with love.
Speechless.
This woman lives in a city only a few minutes from me & gave birth in a hospital I used to work at. Her story brings tears to my eyes & I am SO proud to be her "neighbor". Such a strong act of love & compassion.
I just wonder how the clinic does its hiring...
Mrs. Savage was, indeed, very selfless.
Right on. She should sue the poo out of the clinic though.
Definitely an amazing act of selflessness. I saw both couples interviewed on a morning talk show. It made me cry just thinking about it... and then you imagine how the other couple must of felt... were they also impregnated with an embryo that didn't take? Had they completely given up hope, and then they find out that another couple is carrying a baby that's theres, and is willing to give it to them? It's just amazing, any way you look at it.
That is way cool. Certainly something most people in general would not be able to do.
This is amazing! I know how much pain and hardship you go through during infertility treatment. I could never have done what she did.
Hats off to her!
Amazing! That woman is the epitome of selflessness and mercy!!
what an amazing woman. I can't believe that happend. It sounds like something from a Lifetime for Women movie. Seriously - I saw a very similar storyline on Private Practice last year. But someone who has experienced that in real life? She should get more air time that Kate Walsh's Emmy dress did...
Wow. the true heart of a mother - even if the child is not biologically her's... I cannot imagine how difficult that had to be for her...
I saw a clip about the family on CNN this weekend, also. I pray for her pain. I gave up a child for adoption by choice when I was 17. I can not imagine being a non-volunteer surrogate mother for another child. I imagine the pain to be unbearable. I am thankful there are still kindhearted blessed souls in this country to remind us of the capability of love and kindness we have as humans.
I am so impressed! I had not heard of this story before. Thanks for sharing it with us.
What a woman. I don't have anything else to add - don't feel I can, have no idea how difficult it must have been for either party.
I guess she could see herself as a part of this whole miracle of life. The baby made it to full-term, healthy and ready for his bio. parents. She is to be honored!
I did hear about this story. I am so grateful she has other children, but that still would hurt your heart to give that child up, even if it wasnt yours. Kudos to her for doing the right thing.
You said it...
having struggled with infertility myself, my heart broke when I heard this story. I couldn't agree more with you - why do we have heros who are jerks (John Edwards, Teddy Kennedy, Kanye) when the heroic goes unlauded.
She's got my vote for mom of the year.
Wow. What a woman....
oh man!! that's intense! and whether or not she had previous children, it is still truly amazing....how fortunate that other family was! its so uplifting to hear some positive news stories for once!! thanks for the great monday story!
What a wonderful story. I read a story in Good Housekeeping the other day about a surrogate who kept the couples' baby, even though they had paid her to carry it. Even though they sued, they lost and she raised the child as her own and had more children. So this restores my faith in humanity!
This story hurts my heart. I cannot imagine the pain she is feeling. What a strong woman with a HUGE heart.
I hope I would have done what she did. I don't know. What a horrible predicament to be in. How hard for her. I think she did the right thing. But how many people do you think actually would have done that??
That is selflessness at its best. I'm not certain I COULD be that selfless. I'd do my best, certainly, but there is a strange kindship that forms in pregnancy. Undefineable--and yet that subtle movement under the skin, it's a tether for life.
I hope that I could be that selfless- but unsure that I could be.
I heard about this story and my heart broke for both families, but more so for the Savages. I couldn't imagine being in her position.
What an incredible woman.
I hadn't heard about this. What a totally selfless person! Thanks for sharing this story.
This is a wonderful example of selflessness. Wouldn't we all want to do this? The baby wasn't hers and she knew what she had to do.
Hey, thanks for sharing this lovely story! Gives me hope for our future :-)
So awesome to hear about a situation that could have been ugly turning out beautifully. This is what happens when people act like adults instead of spoiled, selfish children.
you're right - the media attention is not skewed in favor of those who do good.
I hope this story hits a lot of front pages. We need good news sometimes in the midst of all the selfishness.
I understand that the birth parents have been very decent throughout as well.
I heard about this yesterday. She wins my vote!
WOW. Just wow. I'm seriously amazed by this, and loved the way you told her story. It's a story that needs to be told. I hope a million blessings come her way, and I know that they will.
Oh yes, she is a wonderful woman.
I hadn't heard about this. . .leaves you with a little hope for the human race after all. . .
I don't even know what I would do. I would like to think that I would do what she did, but this is one of those times that I would have to walk in her shoes.
How hearbreaking and special at the same time.
I saw the Savages do an interview last week on tv. She said they had other children, but this would be her last pregnancy. Felt sorry for them, but how neat that they were able to hand over the baby to the biological parents. It would be so hard to do.
What a beautiful story! She definitely is an amazing person
Like many others, I saw the Savages and then the other family on the Today Show. Amazing story.
What can I say except...Wow. I had not heard of this story. Thanks. I totally agree.
You're so right, and it says so much about our society in general that Savage's act is the exception rather than the rule. Thanks for sharing the story. I vote for Carolyn Savage to be Mom of the Year.
Selfless, totally selfless! It's people like her who bring back the human in humanity. Good for her for doing the "right" thing. I applaud her for her actions, even though it was under tough circumstances.
That is pretty amazing.. I don't know that I could do that.
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It is an incredible story and it was a terribly selfless thing she did.
I do hope though that she was somehow compensated by the clinic for their mistake for the sacrifices that she was forced to make. Perhaps they will cover her surrogacy for the remaining embryos? Has anyone heard?
Amen to that -- let's give her some serious shout out! Yay, her!
And what a wonderful example she sets for others...
Now that is sacrificial love.
I can't imagine. What a selfless thing to do. What an amazing woman.
I hadn't heard this story. Amazing! I can't imagine having to give up a baby after carrying it for all those months. Wow - kudos to her!
Yes, when I heard about this I thought this was a woman of tremendous caliber and a perfect example of how a human being should behave. I LOVE your idea about nominating her for Mother of the Year!
What an awesome and inspiring story. Thank you so much for sharing. Normally we hear about only the negative things--- it is so mice to hear about the good things as well.
What an inspiring story! I hadn't heard that on the news nor seen anything about it either in the local newspapers but it does truly restore one's faith in mankind a bit to hear of this lady giving the child back to the DNA parents. What a precious gift that was too.
I followed the story with interest recalling the horrid custody fights between biological and adoptive parents. I think Carolyn Savage saw beyond her own needs - and into the needs of the child and family. An incredible woman.
I agree completely. On the other hand, what else could she do? Terminate the baby when she was already planning to have one? No way, you can't just terminate a baby you were already planning to have just because the game changes mid way. And for the other parents, OMG, it would mean standing by helplessly watching their baby get killed. Keep it? It wasn't technically hers. But what a trememdous act of generosity. Thanks for writing about this, I didn't know.
I don't know if in the 88 comments that anyone mentioned it or not....
but she still has 2 embryos left. The only problem is that she should not have children anymore. So, I think that one has already been placed in a surrogate for her.
She made the right decision for her own conscience and for the DNA parents. There are still regular folk out there that just want to do the right thing without making a commotion out of it.
Mother of the Year - Woman of the Year - Person of the Year - I'd love to say I would've done the same thing, but I have strong doubts that I would have - or if I had, that I would have with such grace and dignity.
Yep. She's got my vote.
We were talking about this last night at dinner; I just can't even imagine. And this isn't the first time this type of thing has happened...and there are 3 embryos MISSING. gah.
Well, i was going to go off on a bunch of other rants...but you have like 90 other comments so...
good post.
Wow! She really is amazing in my book.
It still makes me very sad somehow to think about this :-/
I do hope the infertility clinic pays for an more in vitro she chooses to have.
I find it amazing...and somewhat sad too.
I know the minute I found out with each of my children, I loved them so much.
So I'm quite positive she was in love with this baby she chose to give to his parents.
DEFINITELY mother of the year, IMO.
Well, after me, of course. ;)
Uggghh. I need to proof read.
That should say, "pays for ANY..."
And it should say, "the minute I found out I WAS PREGNANT with each of my children..."
Yea, I can't type today at all.
You are totally right. And thank you for pointing out the facts. I had heard, and thought about it and knew it was something I would never want to go through... but that was the end of it. This really put it into persepctive for me!!
Have a blessed day~
Amanda
Yeah, when I read about this story, she just about knocked my socks off. I think she's amazing.
This is an amazing story. Mrs. Savage did a wonderful thing. First child or not, she did the right thing and she's a hero as far as I'm concerned.
It's a beautiful story. We all need to be reminded that people do the right thing all the time.
It's amazing to hear this kind of stuff. I think a lot of women would do what she did. I know I would. I don't see any reason not to, I guess.
Am I over simplifying it? I dunno. It just couldn't be a happier ending in my opinion.
Great post!
I've given your blog an award. stop by Lucky Canuck and check it out: http://luckycanuck.blogspot.com/2009/09/someone-gave-me-award.html
Thank you for sharing this. I did not hear about this story. She's an amazing woman for being willing to give the baby to his parents. Amazing! She has my vote too!
The Savages are AWE-SOME! It's the kindest most loving thing a woman could do-- no matter how many children she already has. I take my hat off to her.
xo
I am blown away by her courage and morals. Amazing.
Wow! I don't know that I could have done this----such integrity.
Debbie thank you SO much for participating in the Blog Party!!!! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!!
Wow, that's incredible. I hadn't heard of the story but it's quite moving and wonderful to hear in these crazy times. Unfortunately, it won't get as much attention as the less deserving.
I never read the story in the news for fear it had a sad, custody fight ending. I'm so happy to have visited you and read this. For whatever reason, I feel like crying. That is so not hot at work.
Something to inspire us to keep our hearts open in this increasingly volatile world. Kudos to this Mom; I'd vote for her as Mother of the Year.
Total class act!
She'd absolutely have my vote!
It was a wonderful and heartwarming story!
hugs
To answer the question in your blog title, I don't know. I like to think that I could. I may be able to but I'll never know. I can't even imagine that the clinic made a mistake of this size.
This is a local story for me as well. Apparently the DNA mom's maiden name is Savage and she hyphenates... so therein lies part of the answer to how this could happen, it wasn't just a random accident. I think it's amazing that she was so selfless and helped this other couple have their child. I only hope that she has some healing and realizes what an amazing thing she did when she's holding her own child, a gift from another woman.
I must live under a rock or something, because I had not heard of this story.
How touching, and what a selfless act Mrs. Savage did. I could not imagine.
I hadn't heard about this! I'm pretty much living in a cave in the library these days, though...
What an amazing woman. People like her make me feel better about the world.
This is such a touching story. I was not aware of it. Thank you so much for sharing it. I think my heart got a little bit bigger.
It's a really complex situation for everyone involved ..both will grieve different things.
I cannot imagine it having been through infertility and IVF myself ... I don't know if I could do the selfless thing.
I first heard about this story when the Savages appeared on the Today Show. I was humbled by their grace and selflessness in the face of this horrible situation. My heart goes out to Carolyn Savage and her family. I pray that they had a few minutes with the baby to say hello and goodbye (as they indicated they hoped for). And I pray for their peace and serenity in the coming days, months and years.
Wow I hadn't heard this story Deb. Really uplifting and inspiring. I wish more stories like this were headline news.
What a great story! She is amazing! Thanks for sharing.
That is heartbreaking no matter how many children she had- the thought of carrying that child and giving it to another family must have been devastating even if they were the Bio parents.
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