And some things about being old are lousy. My failing eyesight, those wrinkles in my face that make me actually pull my skin back on the sides and think "Hmmmm", the fact that elastin apparently has a 45 year lifespan and I'm 47. Yes, those things are not pleasant. Finding clothes that fit and look stylish at this age? Nearly impossible.
Oh well.But some things are great. I had always read that there was a certain attitude that came during your late 40s or 50s. An attitude in which you know how you feel and you are very comfortable with that knowledge. You've quit changing just to please others.
I like to describe it as that self-assuredness you had a teenager except now you actually do know something. It is great.
One of the situations my age has brought into clarity the most is that I tend to take on the mood and attitude of whomever I am around and I carry that with me much longer than I am with that person. So now, I mostly spend my time with people I like. Doing things I enjoy doing. I can say no to social situations or requests with very little guilt. I have finally figured out why the older mommies do not volunteer to do things. It's not because they are tired and worn out. It's because they don't want to. I couldn't imagine this before. But now I'm there and it is a beautiful thing.
Yes, old is beautiful.
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86 comments:
That is so true. You have hit the nail on the head with this post. Love it!
Yes- spending time with people you like and doing things you love are HUGE--no more "people pleasing" :)
That's a good point, that we tend to take on the mood of the person we're around.
Secretia
Loving this post. Great! Hugs, Bobbi Jo
OLD IS BEAUTIFUL!!! Amen sister!!!
I can't help but think (from time to time) that I wish I knew THEN what I know now...LIFE would have been SO MUCH EASIER! Or would it have been??
Happy Monday Debbie!
You know, I stand out at the bus stop with my five year old and have a huge disconnect with the other moms. There are ones that volunteer for everything and are strung so tight its painful to see. There are the gossipers that spend way too much time thinking about what others are doing. They talk about things that are so...well...young.
And every one of those mornings I am glad I am old.
Love this post! I had a conversation with my mother about this once and she said to me that as you get older, being honest about how you really feel is such a freeing thing. Saying "No" to something if you don't want to do it feels good--if it is honestly what you want.
At 33 years, I am getting there. Glad I'm not in my 20s anymore!
stopped by from SITS, and really enjoyed my stay! :)
I want that attitude now. Is it available in any highstreet shops?
What a wonderful post! Yes! Spend it with people you like, who bring out the beautiful you in you!There is such beauty in each age! I don't like the word old, but I like the words older brings with it: Sage, Confident-in-your-skin, free-spirited (but just because your spirit soars after dumping the garbage), rich humor, the best hugs, and truth! Your post makes me enjoy saying "old" you've done it so beautifully!
You might get a kick out of my post on old age - its a more cheeky approach: http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/when-i-am-old-and-smoke-a-pipe-with-vanilla-tobacco/
Love it.
I find it interesting that my confidence seems to increase at the same rate my formerly good looks and body decrease. Ironic. But, it's all good. :)
I know I don't yet have the wisdom of my 40s but I completely agree with you on being around people who make us happy. I'm still learning but really try to steer clear of people who bring me down. And THANK you for pointing out the fact that it's ok to say no to volunteering for every little thing - I don't wanna, you can't make me! ;)
I love this post. I wrote a post yesterday about living out loud. You are one of those woman that live out loud. I love it! And yes Age is beautiful!
I'm happy to have hit that "I'm not going to do it because I DON'T WANT TO" with no guilt stage at a ripe young age of 42!
This is a great post!
Age ain't nothin' but a number! :D
I know it is hard to grow old. But we can do it with grace for sure..
Very true! I think this is only one you can get with "age" so... aging is good!
Here, Here! I couldn't agree with you more! There's no stopping aging, so we should stop trying to be younger and embrace the "perks" of our years. Once a person changes their way of thinking from..."How horrible! I'm getting older." To "I'm getting older. Isn't it amazing?" Life is more enjoyable than it was during the younger, work yourself to death to prove yourself years!!!! Of course, we should still pay attention to personal hygiene. LOL!
We are the same age and I TOTALLY agree with you! Just yesterday I told me husband the great part about getting older is that you just don't care what people think about you like you used to. And the not volunteering thing resonated with me as well. I still have a little one and it about kills me to do that PTA crap anymore. But, I find that I have to throw myself in there a little bit for his sake. It is important to them for some reason. Like field trips and what not. I just watch the young mommies and remember how much I loved being room mom back then. I'd slit my wrists before I'd be that involved now! (But somehow I've been talked into/forced into a volunteer position I don't even want to do. But this is already a post comment, so I will leave it at that.)
Have to say I LOVED this post.
I'm not old enough to say I understand but can see how I will be there myself when I am older. It goes with the saying- the older you are the wiser.
i'm 37 and i'm realizing more and more each year that getting older really does have it's perks. great post!!!
Great post Debbie and I agree. Standing up to teachers is my fave right now. And my mother.
But who are you calling old???!!! (we're the same age). :)
Yes, yes, yes! (to this post, not to volunteering ad toxic friends.)
I am loving my 30s, much better than my 20s. I only hope it gets better from here!
I'm 45 but, sadly, I'm still at the point where I care to much about what others think of me. Nuts!
i'm totally a pleaser. should i start a countdown till 40?
It was shortly after age 45 that I really NOTICED the aging process. I fought it for about 5 years and then realized that it was a battle I didn't want to win - I mean really, embalming is the only way to totally avoid looking older, right?
Although I still do the pull my cheeks back to my ears thing... Ha!
I agree! I just no longer have time for bull. I don't have time for needless drama. It's become boring. Interestingly, I also no longer have time for holding a grudge. Who cares. Forgive and forget. And I care so much less about what others think - about what my body looks like. If only I'd felt this confidence when I was young and my body was sort of...great instead of now when it's all heading south!
Being in my 50's has opened my eyes to so much.
20's = figuring out who you are
30's = apologizing for who you are
40's = coming to terms with who you are
50's = Loving who you are!!
You are not yet old, but I'm sure you're beautiful.
I enjoy the confidence that aging is bringing to me, well most of the time. And I like not caring as much what other people think of me. My life is still full and happy if someone doesn't really like me.
Wonderful :) You have such a great outlook on life!
Confidence definitely comes as you age. Great post.
I'm getting there...not quite there yet, but I'm getting there. I just turned 40 this year!
Ehhh..............
The older I got the less I cared what people thought and that is so freeing.
And as you stated confidence is beautiful...
Love it and love the last photo! What a doll!!
That is a wonderful attitude - and a wonderful post!
Fabulous post!
I AM old and happy to be that way.
Your posts always make me smile.
I am (only?) 38, but am starting, starting being the key word, to get to that place you talk about.
I am less willing to be with people I don't want to be with. More willing to make myself happy. Why does it take us so long to put ourselves first?
You know I'm right there with you, Debbie. While there were events and life experiences that were wonderful in both my twenties and my thirties, I have never enjoyed a decade as much as I have enjoyed my forties. Yep, things start to slip and slide, and we can't always count on the old bod to do what we want it to, but this bod has been around the block enough times to realize that it really is ok to say no to some things and yes to others, and you owe far fewer explanations to the universe than you thought you did in your twenties.
But, shh... Don't let those young women in on ALL our secrets! Someone needs to raise their hands when the call for volunteers goes out!
I totally agree - learning to say no is very liberating.
*ahem* I'm trying to figure out what to say that won't get me a slap.
I'm looking forward to it? ;-)
I totally want that for my life. I'm trying to find it and not feel guilty for it. I tend to feel guilty for breathing. I loved the cat/lion picture.
AMEN!
I have a hard time saying "No."
Gotta work on that.
Good one! And that lady on the bottom truly is beautiful!
Right on Sister! Terrific post and that last photo is really great.
xo
How wonderful! It's so great to see a positive post about age!
Old is WONDERFUL! I love being a little older and the freedom it affords me.
Love this post. Thanks.
"I have finally figured out why the older mommies do not volunteer to do things. It's not because they are tired and worn out. It's because they don't want to"
Absolutely!!!!
Bravo, I turn 40 in 6 weeks and I think I am getting better and better as I age - I am confident and sure of myself, and although I would love to get rid of the age spots that have shown up - I know I really wouldn't change a thing!
I love getting older (36 over here) 'coz I don't care what he thinks or she thinks and most definitely what they think. Is fabulous!
I love how I feel about myself at 39, but wish I looked like I did when I was 28, with that combo I would be unstoppable!
Hurray for that post! I'm hoping for the same. I've pretty much liked every year better than the one before so far, so bring on old age!
Whew! You wrote this post just in time for my old age.
You may not know I have seven kids! I had the last one at 42 years old so now I am one of those older moms and loving every minute of it. I don't volunteer for anything unless I truly want to do it! Love that a lot!
The only thing I'm a tad worried about is whether or not someone might call me his grandma in a few years. I might have to hit them.
So glad to have found your blog!
Great post. So so true!
I always think others who are old are beautiful---and every wrinkle and line is gorgeous---BUT I still have a hard time dealing with it when I am the one looking back at me in the mirror.....sigh....
Old IS beautiful. As long as you are healthy in mind and body.
Yes! I about the clothes, the wrinkles, being like mooded (attituded :)?) to the friends we spend time with, the social obligations, and saying no to what we don't want! I like this part of my life. It is good to become free!
Hm, that's it. I think I want to be 50 now. I like the guilt-free thing.
I sometimes go out without makeup and I don't give a hoot! Aging is a love/hate thing for sure!
Debbie, just think, all those girls in their twenties, wish they had an ounce of the sophistication you do. I see so very many women that are in their 70's and 80's (really ancient compared to me and you), on a daily basis, and I prefer their company and wisdom to that of the women my age. You know why? Because they are true and real. They know that by trying to please others, they are fooling themselves. Great post!
Oh, and thank you once again for checking in on me. It was so very sweet. And come visit me on: http://www.angiemuresan.com/
I am there much more often than on the other.
So heart-warming! Gorgeous last photo.. As someone who turns fifty on Dec 1, I keep telling myself that old is beautiful!
"I don't want to!" is an option?! Pinch me!!! I'll be sure to tell the preschool the next time a volunteer sheet comes home with Z. LOL
Awesome post!!!
Oh baby yeah :))) It rocks :))
Jeez, I haven't been around here for days, Debbie....sorry....bit lame in blogging and skipping around lately....
Old is absolutely beautiful! LOVE IT.
Aging is a beautiful thing, can you image staying 18 forever? I like it when the kids stay how do you know so much - secret is it come with aging.
So true. Thanks for the great post.
I'm almost 30 so I'm still figuring things out, but I know I like the 30 year old version of myself much better than the 20 year old version.
You're right about the spending time with people you like and the mommy volunteer thing but the flip side is some of the mommies are my age too and cop tude when I turn them down...oh well, that's why there's caller I.D. ;-)
cyber hugs of the best kind - from one old person to the other. :)
Well, at 54, I qualify for OLD. I agree. I'm still adjusting to the body changes, I can't lie.
Oh, I couldn't agree more! Freedom is the main feeling I now enjoy as a 54 yr old. I love it so much. Free to say "no" is a lovely thing!
Hmmm...I'm 33 and I already say NO! when I don't want to do things. LOL
Does that put me ahead of the game? Or just make me terribly selfish? ;)
I just watched my mom act as the doormat all my life, and I refuse to do that to myself.
XOXO
i love aging. i've been using oil of olay since i was 6 and remember always thinking, "i can't wait to be in my 50's."
Thanks for the reminder that it is ok to say no. I've finally found my voice even it comes with wrinkles and spots.
I wouldn't call 47 old. You sound like you're one hot mama!
Since I am only ten years younger, I don't think 47 is old at all!
But I am still in the people pleasing phase of my life. Is it just time that helps you dig yourself out of that?
Nice post.
I'm an older mommy. I don't want to volunteer. Why do I do it? It's certainly not for lack of confidence.
And my goodness, old IS beautiful on you! ;-)
I'm an older mom, too. And I stopped volunteering a few years ago. And you're right. I don't volunteer anymore because I don't enjoy it. And I'm older and wiser now. Thank goodness.
yes, old is beautiful, but we ain't old i'm 47 next birthday and i have the attitude. the attitude is good./
as for comments at the top - i'm with you - what is THAT? and what's with the quiz/rate my post at the end of the post - where's the link? i just wanna comment - it shouldn't be a scavenger hunt every time!
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