Not like that. What I mean is that my house is a mess. Sometimes it is dirty and piled up for lack of time to clean. More times than not, it's that way because something better or more fun came along and I decided to do that instead of dust.It doesn't take much to distract me. Getting on the computer. Talking with a friend on the phone. Taking a nap. These are all things that rate infinitely higher on my list of importance over housework.
And don't even get me started about the possibility of doing something with my kids. When they are on break from school, nothing but the bare necessities gets done around here. I'll manage to feed us and keep us in relatively clean clothes. That's about it.I've been like that since my oldest were born. When the twins were still babies, I lived in an area on the coast that was crawling with early retirees. Rich, early retirees. I was fortunate that one sweet woman took pity on the lady with the twins who didn't have any friends and she befriended me. She was the first one that approached me about hiring someone to come clean my house and help me. She had the perfect woman in mind for me. Sounded like a great idea so I called Lynn.
Lynn was about 10 years older than me and was a great house cleaner. She came every two weeks to plow through our home and try to scrape away at the layers I had allowed to accumulate. Thanks to her, the health department did not ever come and try to remove my children from my home.After she had been coming a few months and felt very comfortable with me, she actually asked me one day if it didn't bother me that my house was so piled up and dirty. I informed her it certainly did not. That I realized my days with these precious babies were very few and I intended to take full advantage of every minute of every one of them. I certainly wasn't going to squander a glorious second that I could be playing or holding one of them by sticking a mop in my hand and them in a playpen.
And I've stuck with that theory for 19 years. No, I'm never going to win any housekeeping awards and I might have had to hang up on my daughter a couple weeks ago because I was cooking while talking to her and the drippings in the bottom of my oven might have caught on fire. (FYI- baking soda truly does put that out fast.)
I called her back as soon as the flames died down. It's far more important to hear how her day was than clean up a little post-fire mess.
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115 comments:
Hear, hear!
Unfortunately I have never been the Mom who could leave the clutter go. My Mom was that way with her house though so somehow I turned out the opposite. There has been many a night after the kids are in bed that I am up cleaning.
After my psycho clean grandmother and then my slightly more relaxed mother....I decided this was not the life for my kids. A clean house is NOT more important than my kids. So, I resemble your post also.
Luckily I have a very anal husband that will roll up his sleeves and get busy if it gets too much for him. He's a keeper.
You and I are so much alike in this area. I love when my kids are out of school and nothing gets done unless we NEED dishes (meaning we're out of paper plates). I would rather play w/ my kids than have them always wondering why Mommy never plays b/c she's cleaning. I like a clean house, but it's all about my priorities. My kids trump housework any day. BUT I have taught them how to clean their rooms, my oldest vacuums, and I'm giving a laundry folding lesson soon. :-) Love this post!
Since I started grad school along with working and raising 3 kids, I only have certain times where I can actually clean. Most of the my "extra" time is spent studying or doing homework. My house will be a wreck for a couple of weeks, and then I'll clean it really good. It takes no time for a mess to accumulate with 5 people in the house! And the laundy...oh the laundry! I don't think I'll ever see the bottom of the basket! So I totally understand, but I do dream of having a totally clean house one day...that would be relaxing!!!
Oh...a girl after my own heart. I can't bake because the oven catches on fire. I'm too lazy to clean a self cleaning oven. The hubs suggested hiring someone to come in once and a while to clean, but honestly I would be too embarrassed. I'd have to clean before they came. And you are totally right about the time spent with your kids...they are gone so quickly.
I sometimes wish I were like that. I go to bed a hell of a lot later and get up a hell of a lot earlier because I can't stand clutter/dirty house. It drives me crazy (I blame my mother for this). My boyfriend always says, "The house isn't even a mess. You are SEEING things!" I don't let it interfere with my time with my kids, or my fun time. But I definitely could get more sleep if I didn't make it such a point to clean up everything EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! I envy you!
I'm not a great housekeeper either. I try to keep it clean (ie: straightened) as we go along to prevent any major build up, but that doesn't always work. All I need to get motivated, though, is to schedule some kind of social event at my house, and then our cleaning becomes a family event!
Just before I read your post I glanced away from my monitor to the top of the TV and it looks like the surface of the moon. There's even a crater where someone touched it and left an indention in the moon dust. Thanks for your post. I'll dust as soon as I finish reading 3 more blogs, 5 more...7 that's it 7 more...
Ironically, this post made me want to clean :) Oops, haha. I'm usually in the same boat, however.
Shoot, I need to do laundry. That's in the minimal legal to get by column. And I will. I'll do it. Soon.
Ironically, this post made me want to clean :) Oops, haha. I'm usually in the same boat, however.
How much I love you for writing this post, I'm the same about priorities, and the worst part is when I leave my world of fancy to begin to deal with...argh...dirt.
(p.s. I wash the floors every week, and the bathroom every other day, but my house seems always a dirty mess)
I think we do a dis-service to our families if the house is too clean and organized. It sets up an unrealistic expectation.
Wait. I meant to be funny, but that sounds pretty good actually.
Yep, my house is never white glove clean. I would rather do so many other things than clean, clean, clean.
I'm with you. I would rather take my kiddos to the park than clean our house. I try to do small bits here and there, like wiping the sink out with a Clorox wipe when I finish brushing my teeth in the morning. Everyonce in awhile I go on a mad rampage through our house and clean everything! It looks really nice for about half a day!!
Well, a girls gotta have her priorities. Sounds like yours are in the right place.
Priorities sound right in your life on this one!
Oh my gosh, we are sharing a brain. Clean clothes - check. Food - mostly check (does KFC count?) Relatively clean kitchen - checkish.
Clutter - check. In spades. All over. I work out of my living room, so I keep any areas that will be visited by my students tidy enough that they aren't gagging while they play. Other than that, we basically dig out once every couple of weeks.
Oh, I feel so liberated for sharing this!
I always wonder if my anal nature will go away when I have kids. I hate a messy, cluttered house!
After 25 years, I'm finally learning that lesson. Too late for the kids, but the grandkids will have a lot of fun enjoying more clutter.
I am the same way, but then come the days like this weekend when company (company that I don't want to see the true extent of the mess) is coming and I have to do major, exhausting cleaning just to get to the point of being passable. Those days I ask myself wouldn't it be easier to just do a bit every day. Then I answer myself with "nah" and turn on the computer.
I love it! Although admittedly I was late to work this morning becauase I could not leave the house without cleaning my bathroom that my roommate had destroyed while I was out of town. I will seriously remember this post, years from now when I have kids and have to decide between cleaning the house or playing with the kids... :) Words of wisdom from a great mom!
I'm the same way! This weekend was a prime example... we decided to take the kids to the State Park rather than stay home and clean the house, do laundry, and file papers! lol We made some good memories so it was well worth putting off the chores! I'm glad too see I'm not the only one who thinks like this! :) Great post!
You are so my idol!
I'm too cheap to hire a maid...maybe I need a wife! I actually dusted one room this past weekend (I hate dusting most of all cleaning!) and I'm too embarrassed to tell you how long it had been since I'd last dusted that room!
See, I misread that at first, and thought you said you were baking COOKIES. And I was all, WOMAN! If there's enough grease in your cookies to drip out and start a FIRE...you need to find a new recipe.
Heh.
I admit I let clutter go, though I think in another life I was a perfectionist. Thanks for visiting my blog. Im following!
I totally agree with you.
Housekeepers!! That is the way to go! I have one that does a great job dusting my piles and getting stuff clean around them. I have too much to do than to worry about clutter. I used to though. Boy I am glad I wised up!
Hugs
SueAnn
I've always preferred napping to doing household chores. It's much more fulfilling. The process I mean, not the result.
I´ve had a cleaning lady for so long, I don´t even remember how to clean myself... :) They´re the way to go!
My hero. I now have to vacuum and sweep and mop every Sunday because the 10 month old grandbaby comes over Sunday afternoons. But once she can walk...
I think we may have been cut from the exact same cloth!, except the firemen came when I let the drippings catch fire and my boys, have never let me live that down.
LOL
Well said. As long as I have breath in my body I will pay for a good cleaning service. My cleaning lady I have right now is the best - I LOVE her. I'm sure she thinks I'm a lazy woman - but I have time for my husband, my kids, volunteering and ME.
Life is short. Dirt happens.
I am with you all the way. And I don't have kids....
no one ever hears they're going to die and says, "boy, I wish I'd spent more time vacuuming and dusting. . ." I'm in total agreement, although I wish I had a housekeeper. . .
Hear hear! (What will be our excuse when they are all grown up and gone?)
My dream when I was working was to someday hire a cleaning lady. I never felt I could afford it. Now I'm retired, and I know I'll never be able to afford it. I hate house work!
Ya i also resemble u to some extent. I love clean houses, but my bedroom is a mess. my computer is my greatest distraction. its only in the weekends i am pushed to clean them!
Bravo, you have chosen "Great Mom" over "Great Housekeeper"!!
I am done with the kid stage & wish I had not worried & fussed so much over my clean house. Can't go back, so I plan on being a much more relaxed & fun Grandma!! Thnx for the reminder!!
awesome attitude! my mom had the same attitude, and we grew up in a glorious, cluttered home. i am not as liberated. boo.
I go crazy when the house looks like a mess, so I begin each day cleaning up after my husband and making things appear neat and orderly (I tend to be much more patient when things are clean).
But I am definitely a hidden slob. If a mess is bothering me, but I don't have times to put things where they really belong, I simply put it out of sight until I can deal with it (which can be months). And I can't count the times the laundry basket is overflowing and my kids are wearing socks two sizes too small.
But I think you're right... what our kids will remember is not how clean our houses were, but the times we put aside housework to spend time with them.
You and me both, darlin'....you and me both... I will find ANY excuse not to clean...I am the queen of procrastination, and on any given day, I have something I need to clean....but that doesn't mean it happens.... Mark Twain says it well...
"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
I so agree with you! Still, I can't go to sleep at night if my house isn't spotless. I am a bit OCD in that regard, and it's because I'm terrified of bugs and rodents. Don't want anything crawling on me in the middle of the night.
yeah, I think my house gets by quite fine without my constant attention...my kids? not so much!
A while back I started working on "not caring" about a really clean house...it's working pretty good. I still have moments of weakness.
This is too funny. I love it! You have the right idea.
I have to have a clean house...but it is a LOT less clean than it was before my kids arrived on the scene. I've often wondered if I should just buy a Roomba (one of those robot vacuum-cleaners).
I do agree that kids are more important though! I just have to clean too...with them on my back if necessary. ;)
Yes, you have your priorities in a good order. And I felt the same way about my children. And they are grown now and I am grateful for making every minute count.
I am like you. This time is too precious and someday I will have all of the time in the world to clean.
I do need it to be tidy. I like stuff put away - plus by being neat it gives the illusion of being clean!
Plus, nobody actually ever notices after I hae cleaned the house - that drives me NUTS!!
Hee hee...thanks for the baking soda tips.
I'm with ya! I'll never win any housekeeping awards either. I'm definitely the messy end of the Odd Couple in our household and I can only imagine how I'm going to have to adapt when there's a child around!
i myself am a pig, i have given up trying and since my mom lives behind me i just pay her to clean lol so basically i am like a big teenager now with my mom cleaning up after me
I wish I could relax more about the house but alas, I can't. I have toned it down a bit by cleaning every two weeks or so instead of every week, but even then I let the piles of dirty socks and homework get to me. I definitely need a lesson in letting things go and enjoying the present!
I have horrible ADHD and can be distracted by anything. I can spent 12 hours on something that I just happened to come across, which is scary as heck when a person is out of work. I lose track of time, and I see clutter around my house often.
My review book pile and portable desk is shameful, actually. Still, when it comes down to it, I'd rather have that be unorganized that not have enough food in my house, etc. The priority things always get done.
Ha! I had a good laugh while learning a great lesson. My house is also dirty on occasion because I would rather hang out with my husband and son. Please stop by sometime this week and collect a little something I have for you. Thanks!
Well darn.. my kids are mostly grown. I can no longer use that excuse. Help! :)
Nicely said. And very true. The time with kidlets goes so quickly. Everyone warned about it. Everyone was right.. sigh.
My husband's first wife (who is actually a friend and will soon be guest posting on my blog) used to be a social worker. I will never forget her telling me that when she went to people's houses, she could tell if they were "parents" by the condition of their house. If it was sparkly, they had most likely known she was coming and did a "flight of the bumblebee" clean. If they were slobs and didn't know she was coming, the house was FILTHY. If they were more concerned with their children than what people thought of them, their house would be cluttered and "lived in."
I go for cluttered...who wants to say "NO DON'T SIT THERE" all the time?
Love the post.
I don't win awards either, but I sure stressed about a clean house.
Now that they fledglings have all gone I have to wonder why I stressed.
Amen girl. A dirty house will always be there....little children will not, fun will not, serendipity will not.
Ah, clean when it fits in eh.
and as long as it's not condemed then ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
Wow, I feel a lot better after reading that.
Wow. I feel a lot worse. Guess I need to shake my clean-freak bug more often. Or . . . . blame my mom, maybe?
Amen!
Good for you! Great attitude.
I'm with you!
Congrats on 900 followers, Superstar!
As one of my favorite poems says "cobwebs be quiet, dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep".
You've TOTALLY got it right. I wrestle with this and have let too many great "opportunities" pass and like everyone says "You don't get those times back". I'm working on doing better in that regard - today I simply "blew" some dust away rather than throwing a cleaning fit!
Well you are my hero. It's hard for me to ignore the mess, and so I am guilty of cleaning, laundry and writing! I need to be more like you and spend the QT with the babes!
It is difficult to stay ahead of the mess; especially if there are children involved. I love my kids, but I honestly can't wait until they move out. I seem to recall that Lois and I kept the house pretty clean before we had children. And now there's just so much more stuff we've bought over the years. One day I think I just want to rent a dumpster for a week.
ABSOLUTELY! I always felt that way raising my four. And now while I live with one daugher and her three precious rugrats. The time we spend with them is so invaluable that a little clutter could not drag me away. My own mom worked us all to death (kidding) growing up, and she was ALWAYS cleaning. Made for some tense years when we could never relax without being thought of as lazy. I vowed to be different with my own kids.
I did have a housekeeper (Louis) for a few years when I had my own business too. What a GREAT help he was. And he loved us all too. That was nice. (sigh) I'm just lazy now and I wish I still had Louis with me. ;-)
:) My dad commented a few weeks ago "You know, you're the kind of person who really SHOULD get a house cleaner. It's obvious you have other priorities." Ummm...yes? Thanks for noticing? Was that meant kindly? :)
I live in India, I have a maid and a house man. I can't help that.
I love it :))
I couldnt agree more! Being a stay at home mom does not guarantee that my house will be spic and span...I would rather spend quality time with my kids and create lasting memories with them than worry about some dust or dishes
I wonder if Lynn realized if your house was clean she wouldn't have a job :-)
Your priorities are in all the right places Debbie!
xo
My house is a big mess, and we're chipping away at it slowly.
Thanks for this post. I know I will miss my children when they grow up, it is already happening too fast!
I think your priorities are EXACTLY RIGHT!!! My mom was not super-tidy, but there were times when she insisted on mopping the floor sometimes when I wanted her to sit and play a board game with me instead. (boo hoo!)
When my sister and I got to be teenagers and were allowed to date, the rule was, of course, that the boy had to come and pick us up AND he had to come all the way into the house and "chat," AKA get the third degree from Dad. That was a real bonus for Mom's cleaning, because suddenly we girls who couldn't be bothered to pick up the clothes from our closet floor had to get the whole living room spic and span for the young man.
Oh, and my cousins who lived across town always wanted to come to our house to play instead of us going there, because their mom was a crazy clean who couldn't stand to have game pieces or toys scattered around EVEN WHILE WE WERE PLAYING WITH THEM! Sheesh.
And furthermore! :)
Our house was never REAL cluttery, even though there were 5 busy children. Later on, I saw how piled up some of my siblings' homes got with fewer children about, and it was because those kids had WAY more clothes, toys, and just STUFF than they needed, and it all became clutter. We had no money, so we had "enough" clothes and toys, but not so much that they were strewn everywhere.
I couldn't agree more. I do my best to pick up - especially at the end of the day - but if I tried to keep everything clean and neat at all times, I'd be doing nothing else!
You are a woman after my own heart. Besides, chasing dust bunnies is good exercise! ;-)
I wish I had your wisdom. I often put cleaning the house above spending time with Ben...
I attack the damn housework as fast as I can, it isn't going to be what my life revolves around. But it'll never be clean like my mother's house was-I just don't care.
Secretia
You are so smart! I clean less and less as the years go by. It's the other stuff that matters. I've been thinking of finally getting housecleaners after all these years. It's just not worth the time anymore. Life's too short.
I've just decided to keep less stuff around so there's less to clean. Although I must admit I'm now wondering if maybe you really are *bad* housekeeper & by *bad* I mean the Barbie outfit is in the closet ;)
haha...I can't do clutter.And I love to clean so maybe I will come over.
And tell me that first pic is not your housecleaning costume! LOL.
So glad to see so many people in the same boat! I have a cleaning lady every two weeks. The day before she comes, we clean for the cleaning lady. Otherwise our house would be a big old cluttered mess. The clean lasts for about a half day. My three kids and three dogs can destroy a perfect room in two seconds. I work full time and refuse to spend all our spare time cleaning or screaming at my kids to clean.
I have a deep, dark secret... I have a house cleaner who comes every other week. Even though I'm in limbo right now, without a job. Even though the Tongginator is now in kindergarten. Because sometime - in the next nine months or so - all of that will change again. And I will be SO glad to have her.
Nice. My personal motto is that "if your house is clean and you have small children, you are definately doing something wrong."
I share this with anyone who visits my house.
I think as my children grow though, I'll probably have to ammend. Like, "if your house is clean and you have teenagers, you are definately doing somethign wrong..."
I like an uncluttered house, but cleaning is not high on my list of things to do either. Unless people are coming over, then I somehow manage to get a bunch of cleaning done :)
There are things more important than cleaning, cleaning and never ending cleaning.
Oh but wait. I'm a freak of nature and does clean after seeing too many fuzzballs. Fuzzballs freak me out!
I don't like to clean when people are around. Does that sound strange? I have my own way of cleaning and even though Greg often will ask if he can help, I decline, because I don't want to tell him, "no, clean this way" Lol... And I don't want to spend the time cleaning when I could be with him, so often, after he goes to sleep, I'll clean. He says, "Fairies come to our home and keep it clean" Lol (and yes, he knows better)
That is too funny that you had an oven fire. I have had one of those, too. :-)
Cleaning to me seems to be something I can do as I go along, however I have been in times when cleaning was just one of those things I would get to when I got to it.
I am a horrible housekeeper as well. However, I do not have a set of twins to keep me busy. I'm just not a good cleaner. I love my house cleaner (she comes every two weeks as well), and think of her as a second mother. So, I know how you feel.
Oh, so much in commmon. Clean house? Something fun to do instead? I'm such a better fun person than housekeeper.
I just can't believe how funny you are sometimes. I wish you would write a parenting book so I could throw the rest of my parenting library in the trash and not be tempted by all those expensive classes in town promising me a better sleeper, out of diapers, and well behaved child. I am so glad I stopped by today, I feel so much better about how out of control our basement has gotten.
Your words of wisdom have saved my sanity once again. Can you move in next door? I live in one of the best places in the country. Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment.
mymommymakesit
I found you through "Friday Follow" and am now following you through Google Friend Connect. Come on over and visit us when you get a free moment. Happy Tuesday!
<3
standing ovation outta me--- i love this .
and what a way to say so much -- and not beat up on yourself. i am impressed !
i've lived the last 14 years the same way -- in a hell pit of mess and clutter-- but i never found a way to come out of it smilin. i loathe and abuse myself for the squalor i leave in my wake.
i'm claiming your outlook on life from this day forward.
do you mind?
happy day to you
Sounds to me like you've got the right attitude! Keep on keeping on!
LOL. Personally? I feel that a house that looks 'lived in' is filled with laughter and fun. It's um...lived in! That's a good thing.
I love your philosophy. I, too, suck at housecleaning.
Debbie, I am honored that you visit my blog. I cannot believe how huge things have gotten over here.
Keep it up, Woman!
(Writing and not cleaning)
Ann
Right there with you girlfriend! Life is too short to stress over tidiness.
I enjoy a clean, clutter-free house. Unfortunately, I don't enjoy actually working to get it that way. I need a new housekeeper so badly. (Mine quit a year ago and it's been getting worse and worse ever since.)
I'm struggling to find the happy medium here - lots of clutter, but it's clean - although last summer we indulged in a cleaning lady so I could enjoy the time off from school with the kids - hoping to do the same again this summer!
So...I've had the same issue with my sister and her house for..well...years. Ever since my nieces came along, actually. I'm a Virgo. A very OCD, everything-in-its-place, no dust anywhere Virgo. She is not. Visiting her used to bug the crap out of me and I would spend my whole visit cleaning and organizing....until I got home and realized that I had probably only spent one afternoon with the girls - in 7 days!! They're already 12 hours away so that's completely unacceptable. I spend much less time cleaning my sister's house when I visit - although I try very hard NOT to add to the crazy. Thanks for reminding us - these days don't last forever! Is it important for our children to remember our clean house or our vegetable garden we planted together?
I'm so that way, too. It's nearly midnight and I've still got a restless toddler in my lap. I'm dead tired too so I'm not about to stay up even later than he is so I can clean. HAHA!
LOL my mom was the complete neat freak. LOL I think I ran away from that style but now I've come to a happy medium ... well it's happy for me. Now for hubs maybe not ... lol
When my son was born...I had a lot of "friends" from a hoity toity neighborhood and felt like I always had to be spotless...I vacuumed and mopped at least 2x per day...and then I got smart...these people were not my friends...and the Wiggles should not be raising my kiddo.
I always find myself distracted with cleaning by the call of the computer or, well, of more fun things to do!
Stopping by from SITS :)
Great post! I really hope I can be like this when I have kids... right now I tend to like everything to look a certain way... Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Good for you! Kids grow up to fast. Housecleaning will be there when they move out.
I wanted to stay a clean house or room. However like what you said, there is something that came along that is more interesting and you like doing it.. Just the same...
Oh we are kindred.
I just have the guilt of not being the domestic goddess. I think I rebel b/c my Mom was such a clean freak. Well, freak doesn't sound very nice when you are talking about your Mama, maybe neat nic is better or is it nick?
Are you guys in East Tennessee? That is my old stomping grounds.. Now we are NC folk.
Love your blog and look forward to reading more. Heather
I wish I could be more like you! I can't sleep at night knowing something is out of place. But then again, I don't have kids yet, so I'm sure that will change! Love your blog. Thanks for visiting mine. =)
You and I see eye to eye on this one. :)
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