Who Decided To Put "Great" In Front of "Outdoors"?

Once upon a time, when our twins were 6, our middle son was 3 and our youngest was about 4 months, we decided to meet some friends to camp on top of a mountain.These were people we had known back when we lived in North Carolina and they also had a preschooler and a baby. They were actually hiking a portion of the Appalachian Trail for a week and were going to meet us on the highest mountain east of the Rockies or some other claim to fame like that.First of all, I am going to blame my decision to undertake this venture on the fact that I had approximately 75 kids under the age of 5. Or something similar. Surely that many small children had sucked all the rational thoughts right out of my brain. That must have been it. Because clearly, this outing did not have any of the items that I require for an overnight stay:
1. A bed with at least 200 ct. sheets and two pillows per person.2. A front desk ready at the slightest ringing of the phone to bring me cute little bottles of toiletries, a razor, or a shower cap. I've never used a shower cap but what if I needed one in an emergency? That front desk person is there for me in such an instance.3. Complimentary breakfast. And by complimentary I mean someone standing there clearing off the table and saying to me, "Of course you should have another waffle. You look positively skeletal today".No, the top of this mountain did not have a single one of those things. Still, off we went.

Fortunately, my husband was an experienced camper and pieced together all the items he thought we would need to have a glorious trip. (Reminder: he did not take any of my required items. We've since discussed this numerous times and he is a much better camper these days. Wisely, he now camps at Hampton Inns.)It was late June and very warm. Until we got to the top of that mountain. Where it was snowing. And there I was with 100 small children (don't laugh - they seem to multiply in harsh conditions) and not a coat, hat, glove to our names. We had some lightweight jackets and I think we bundled the kids all up in one, similar to a straight jacket. While that did have some advantages such as making it harder for them to fall off the top of said mountain, I don't remember them being very happy about it.Our friends showed up and had been on the trail for a week. Their family of four had eaten 2 apples and I believe 5 cashews during the whole time. They were thriving and as happy as can be. They hadn't had a shower or seen a proper restroom in 7 days. One child was not potty trained. Let me reiterate - they were having a great trip. It was then that I remembered I really didn't like these people anyway and had some serious doubts about their mental status and whether they should even be raising children.

The day got better and we managed to have quite a bit of fun. As night began to fall, we tromped down to the bathhouse to brush our teeth and use the facilities for the night. It was getting quite cold and I was a little concerned about how we were going to fare for the night. I wanted to keep the kids as happy as I could to distract them from their physical discomfort. It was at that moment that the park ranger appeared with a mauled cooler and proceeded to tell our families, including our very small children, that a bear had mauled that cooler in that very campground just that last week. And to have a good night.You know how you read stories about someone falling to their tragic death from some height. If you ever read one about a park ranger, you'll know it was this clown and he told that story to the wrong person. It was only because I didn't really want my children to see their mother commit cold-blooded murder that the guy was allowed to go on living that night. Some people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut and what is acceptable to say and what isn't. Come to think of it, that park ranger did resemble someone.